1/29/09 Tried flying again last night. Even more crazy results. Tried the whole "white room" bit, imagining myself there, and I got the same results. Except this time... I didnt freak out.
Heart rate, sky-rocketed, breathing got shaky, everything was spinning. I was falling, I was at two different places at once. It was insane. Before too long, I came down from this little... experience?? I lost focus, and just, kinda "came back"
Yet.. after this, argh, I cant really describe it. Honestly, I thinK I'll keep a REAL journal about what goes on, and keep it next to my bedside. Easier to write in, and It'll be more personal. Good stuff.
Girl life. Non-Existant now. Good stuff.
been kinda.. "blah" lately... i dont know why either. =[ I'm sure i'll snap out of it eventually. Just takes time...
Decent grades.
Math C+
Science B
AP Macro-Economics C
Band A
German A
English C
Good day.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Hello World....
I just found an AMAZINGLY good use for this blog, you know, now that life's settled down a bit.
Flying Journal. =D
I'll start making posts about how my progress of "flying" is going. You know, if there's nothing in my life worth talking about.
Anyway, on to life first. Girls. Taylor. I problably ruined any chance that i had with her by our conversation last night. You know, smart ol' martin decides its a good idea to start pondering the topic of who people like. Smart choice. XD
Eventually, it gets to the point where she can rather tell that I "like" her. Honestly though, I think its only a bit of a crush. She's cute, Nice, and I get along with her pretty well. That pretty much means I could easily start to "like" them, so you know. Who knows. Whatever happens there will happen. Oh well.
Astral Projection. AKA Flying. From here on in, every journal I mention "Astral Projection" It will be known as Flying. I think its a better, more easily accessed word/name, and not many people get suspicious when you say "Flying. BBL". Plus, saying Astral Projection makes me feel odd.
Flying - The practice of purposefully taking your spirit for joy-rides around the Etheric/Astral plane(s). Thats it, in a nutshell. If you ever do happen to fly, I've read lots of different stories. Worlds that do not look like ours... yet are the same. Spiritual Guides, different galaxies, lots of crazyness.
From here on in, I shall use this blog as a journal-place for dreams/Flying attempts... because you know. Every person who wants to fly always has to have a journal!! *cough* hint *cough*.
1/19/08 - Tried to fly last night. More sucess than normal. Once I finally got relaxed, and into a nice state of mind, I started drifting around. I dont know for how long I drifted. Lots of stuff came to mind... and I think batman was one of them. I dont altogether remember. Anyway, I eventually came back to focus, and probed aroud inside my body. You know, thinking about each part of my body, seeing how numb/relaxed it was. Had very good progress. Everything was heavy, and I was very relaxed. I then started to invision myself in other spots, somewhat around my room... Here's where it got odd. I had really bad progress, and I got impatient, as I usually do... but then I thought "Dude. Impatience wont get you anywhere, just take a deep breath, and relax." So.. thats what I did. One or two deep breaths though the nose, and I told myself to relax. It was CRAZY. That right there, made me feel extremely relaxed (Heh, hope it should... -.-) and after a little bit, I got a good feeling... along the lines of "I can wait as long as needed. =D" Here's where things started to happen.
What happened next.. is hard to describe. I kept imagining myself in different places, and I started feeling REALLY strange. Like I was spinning, and falling. Good stuff. It was great, I stayed more relaxed than normal, and kept with them... but then something got me. My mind was directed to a place I had never seen before (or atleast, can remember), and I was trying to place myself there. It was working astonishingly well... I seriously felt like I was in 2 places at once.. but my mind, it just HAD to know where this other place was. It got too focused on trying to remember where it had seen the place before... and I got distracted. Lost focus. Came back to earth.
Hands down, this has been the best progress I've made in all my previous attempts. I seriously, felt plain out odd... Afterwards, once I lost focus, i tried a few more times, but just couldnt get it. Eventually, I beasted out of my relaxation, rolled over, and went to sleep.
There is it. Journal 1. XD
Good stuff.
Flying Journal. =D
I'll start making posts about how my progress of "flying" is going. You know, if there's nothing in my life worth talking about.
Anyway, on to life first. Girls. Taylor. I problably ruined any chance that i had with her by our conversation last night. You know, smart ol' martin decides its a good idea to start pondering the topic of who people like. Smart choice. XD
Eventually, it gets to the point where she can rather tell that I "like" her. Honestly though, I think its only a bit of a crush. She's cute, Nice, and I get along with her pretty well. That pretty much means I could easily start to "like" them, so you know. Who knows. Whatever happens there will happen. Oh well.
Astral Projection. AKA Flying. From here on in, every journal I mention "Astral Projection" It will be known as Flying. I think its a better, more easily accessed word/name, and not many people get suspicious when you say "Flying. BBL". Plus, saying Astral Projection makes me feel odd.
Flying - The practice of purposefully taking your spirit for joy-rides around the Etheric/Astral plane(s). Thats it, in a nutshell. If you ever do happen to fly, I've read lots of different stories. Worlds that do not look like ours... yet are the same. Spiritual Guides, different galaxies, lots of crazyness.
From here on in, I shall use this blog as a journal-place for dreams/Flying attempts... because you know. Every person who wants to fly always has to have a journal!! *cough* hint *cough*.
1/19/08 - Tried to fly last night. More sucess than normal. Once I finally got relaxed, and into a nice state of mind, I started drifting around. I dont know for how long I drifted. Lots of stuff came to mind... and I think batman was one of them. I dont altogether remember. Anyway, I eventually came back to focus, and probed aroud inside my body. You know, thinking about each part of my body, seeing how numb/relaxed it was. Had very good progress. Everything was heavy, and I was very relaxed. I then started to invision myself in other spots, somewhat around my room... Here's where it got odd. I had really bad progress, and I got impatient, as I usually do... but then I thought "Dude. Impatience wont get you anywhere, just take a deep breath, and relax." So.. thats what I did. One or two deep breaths though the nose, and I told myself to relax. It was CRAZY. That right there, made me feel extremely relaxed (Heh, hope it should... -.-) and after a little bit, I got a good feeling... along the lines of "I can wait as long as needed. =D" Here's where things started to happen.
What happened next.. is hard to describe. I kept imagining myself in different places, and I started feeling REALLY strange. Like I was spinning, and falling. Good stuff. It was great, I stayed more relaxed than normal, and kept with them... but then something got me. My mind was directed to a place I had never seen before (or atleast, can remember), and I was trying to place myself there. It was working astonishingly well... I seriously felt like I was in 2 places at once.. but my mind, it just HAD to know where this other place was. It got too focused on trying to remember where it had seen the place before... and I got distracted. Lost focus. Came back to earth.
Hands down, this has been the best progress I've made in all my previous attempts. I seriously, felt plain out odd... Afterwards, once I lost focus, i tried a few more times, but just couldnt get it. Eventually, I beasted out of my relaxation, rolled over, and went to sleep.
There is it. Journal 1. XD
Good stuff.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Message
You know, my friend Josh told me one time, to wait, and eventually, I'd get the girl of my dreams.. oh how I hate waiting.
Apparently he was also thought of as a friend quite a bit in his younger days, and I truly wonder how he finally managed to shake that thought.... A question i shall save for yet, another day.
Laurel thinks of me as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Quite a shame... yet, after three years of it not working, why should anything change now?
I'll always be there. I mean... thats just me. I try to be consistant. Someone, that someone could rely on. Whatever, atleast I try.
She's going for a different guy... *sigh*. Life will go on. Time heals all wounds...
Oh how I hate waiting.
Apparently he was also thought of as a friend quite a bit in his younger days, and I truly wonder how he finally managed to shake that thought.... A question i shall save for yet, another day.
Laurel thinks of me as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Quite a shame... yet, after three years of it not working, why should anything change now?
I'll always be there. I mean... thats just me. I try to be consistant. Someone, that someone could rely on. Whatever, atleast I try.
She's going for a different guy... *sigh*. Life will go on. Time heals all wounds...
Oh how I hate waiting.
Must...Talk...
Most previous friday... was quite possibly, one of the most fun nights in my life.
Why?? As you know.. anything ever worth talking about has a girl in it, and of course, this is no exception.
Back before the Margie Chronicles... way before they even got a little breath of life, there was this girl. Her name is Laurel.
She moved here when I was in 7th grade. She moved here, because her dad is the Pastor of our church... Good stuff right? Yeah... well, needless to say, we hit it off, and over the course of a few months/years, we really got to know each other. Very well.
It even come to a "climax" as I might call it, around the middle of 8th grade... we both liked each other, and I think we both knew it. Yet... just as I was sure I had it in the bag, she ended up "going out" with my friend Nic. Despite her saying that she really didnt.. I saw the note, and later on, she admitted that she did. It was quite a depressing night.
Skip ahead about a year and a half... From there, we were only friends. You know, me flirting constantly, hoping for anything, and just, the typical good friends type thing. You know the drill. Recently, she started to like my friend Jesse, and he started to like her. Good stuff... of course, I'm sitting here, going "meh. Used to it by now... *slight cry* "
Either way, I watched Jesse attempt to flirt, and so on... Didnt work so well. Of course, me being me, I'm consistant, and keep flirting. All that good stuff. I find all this information out by talking to jesse IRL, and Laurel by message + occasional sunday.. But recently, it turns out she has lost her liking for Jesse. Oh noes!!
This was friday... The night of "Capture the Flag", which, I feel, deserves a bit of a post on. It was an amazing night. I broke my previous record of guests brought. I broke it with 17 people. Good stuff right?
Anyway, I get there, and proceed to have a good time. idk, about after the 2nd game of CTF, we all go inside/split up, do whatever we want, and I get to talking to Laurel. Now, a good way of talking, without really talking is a cell phone. It goes like this. -Writes message- -hands to person- -person reads- -person deletes- -person writes new message- -hands phone back- -Continue-
I started off with some simple, "hows life, whats up" that whole bit. Eventually, I got to my simple apology letter, as always "Hey.. I hope you dont mind my consistant flirting." and just so on.
Told her about my life a little bit (as much as texting goes. lol), and just, enjoyed her company. Of course, throughout the night, I was flirting hard. You know, poking/hugs/close to her/the random physical contact. All that good stuff.
Eventually.. it gets to about 6am, and I've had enough of Rock Hero + Hard chairs. So I move my friend payton over on the couch, and make room for me + a small person... I bet you know who showed up. =P
Anyway, so we're sitting next to each other, quite close, mind you, and I whip out the phone, and start up the conversation.. except, only me talking. Eventually, it ends up to where I give my apology again.. and you know what happens? as soon as she reads it, she says "man, I'm so tired..." and puts her head on my shoulder. BAM BAM BAM. WOOHOO *Loud cheering from crowd* *estatic kid inside of me runs around screaming to whoever will listen*
That right there, was problably one of the best moments of my life. I kid you not. Like.. the joy I felt... undescribable. Of course, I exchange some texts, she aknowledges, and in general... I just make the best of it.
Of course, as we all know, Time stops for no man. That saying, I found holds very true... and this was no exception (Oh but dear God, did I wish just this one time it didnt...) She got up, I got up, we began to clean the house.
The all nighter was over, and I was left with that 1, amazing, wonderful, undescribable memory, and honestly, something like that might not ever happen again. I dont know. Time will tell.
As always, I sent the "after all-nighter message" to her (Facebook, this year), as I always do after one of those events... and well, its been 3 days (wow, seems a lot longer) no reponse yet. Darn her lack of computer access.
Haha, Idk. Its just, meh. I FINALLY find something that works out for an amazing night.. and I guess I'm just too impatient. Time will tell.
I'm hoping her message back is encouraging... if not, oh well. Life will go on, and I shall learn to "love" again. Good times..
If you read all this? Kudos. Hope you got something out of it... because I know I did. Venting really does make my heart so much lighter.... =]
Love to all,
-Martin.
Why?? As you know.. anything ever worth talking about has a girl in it, and of course, this is no exception.
Back before the Margie Chronicles... way before they even got a little breath of life, there was this girl. Her name is Laurel.
She moved here when I was in 7th grade. She moved here, because her dad is the Pastor of our church... Good stuff right? Yeah... well, needless to say, we hit it off, and over the course of a few months/years, we really got to know each other. Very well.
It even come to a "climax" as I might call it, around the middle of 8th grade... we both liked each other, and I think we both knew it. Yet... just as I was sure I had it in the bag, she ended up "going out" with my friend Nic. Despite her saying that she really didnt.. I saw the note, and later on, she admitted that she did. It was quite a depressing night.
Skip ahead about a year and a half... From there, we were only friends. You know, me flirting constantly, hoping for anything, and just, the typical good friends type thing. You know the drill. Recently, she started to like my friend Jesse, and he started to like her. Good stuff... of course, I'm sitting here, going "meh. Used to it by now... *slight cry* "
Either way, I watched Jesse attempt to flirt, and so on... Didnt work so well. Of course, me being me, I'm consistant, and keep flirting. All that good stuff. I find all this information out by talking to jesse IRL, and Laurel by message + occasional sunday.. But recently, it turns out she has lost her liking for Jesse. Oh noes!!
This was friday... The night of "Capture the Flag", which, I feel, deserves a bit of a post on. It was an amazing night. I broke my previous record of guests brought. I broke it with 17 people. Good stuff right?
Anyway, I get there, and proceed to have a good time. idk, about after the 2nd game of CTF, we all go inside/split up, do whatever we want, and I get to talking to Laurel. Now, a good way of talking, without really talking is a cell phone. It goes like this. -Writes message- -hands to person- -person reads- -person deletes- -person writes new message- -hands phone back- -Continue-
I started off with some simple, "hows life, whats up" that whole bit. Eventually, I got to my simple apology letter, as always "Hey.. I hope you dont mind my consistant flirting." and just so on.
Told her about my life a little bit (as much as texting goes. lol), and just, enjoyed her company. Of course, throughout the night, I was flirting hard. You know, poking/hugs/close to her/the random physical contact. All that good stuff.
Eventually.. it gets to about 6am, and I've had enough of Rock Hero + Hard chairs. So I move my friend payton over on the couch, and make room for me + a small person... I bet you know who showed up. =P
Anyway, so we're sitting next to each other, quite close, mind you, and I whip out the phone, and start up the conversation.. except, only me talking. Eventually, it ends up to where I give my apology again.. and you know what happens? as soon as she reads it, she says "man, I'm so tired..." and puts her head on my shoulder. BAM BAM BAM. WOOHOO *Loud cheering from crowd* *estatic kid inside of me runs around screaming to whoever will listen*
That right there, was problably one of the best moments of my life. I kid you not. Like.. the joy I felt... undescribable. Of course, I exchange some texts, she aknowledges, and in general... I just make the best of it.
Of course, as we all know, Time stops for no man. That saying, I found holds very true... and this was no exception (Oh but dear God, did I wish just this one time it didnt...) She got up, I got up, we began to clean the house.
The all nighter was over, and I was left with that 1, amazing, wonderful, undescribable memory, and honestly, something like that might not ever happen again. I dont know. Time will tell.
As always, I sent the "after all-nighter message" to her (Facebook, this year), as I always do after one of those events... and well, its been 3 days (wow, seems a lot longer) no reponse yet. Darn her lack of computer access.
Haha, Idk. Its just, meh. I FINALLY find something that works out for an amazing night.. and I guess I'm just too impatient. Time will tell.
I'm hoping her message back is encouraging... if not, oh well. Life will go on, and I shall learn to "love" again. Good times..
If you read all this? Kudos. Hope you got something out of it... because I know I did. Venting really does make my heart so much lighter.... =]
Love to all,
-Martin.
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