Officially a senior tonight. Its June 11th, at 11:09PM, as I write this, and I honestly, no matter how long, or much I wrote, would not even begin to tell you what has happened in these past 6 months.

Argh... So many emotions, so little time! I honestly cannot get it all out, and just, I think thats okay. I will just, keep doing what I'm doing, and things will be good.

~~

Thats how things are, when you graduate. Its never the same, no matter how much you want it to be. Even those BFFs who promised to call each and every weekend, will break up, and soon fall apart. Where there is no similarity, there is no connection. Where there is little to no connection, there is no friendship.

Thats why I have a hard time with people saying "oh, we can make it across the distance!" (relationship wise), because whatever you would have to make things common, such as a class, or a school, or a car, or an apartment... Isn't there. The link that two people would normally have, is gone, and they are forced to fend for themselves. Keeping a fire lit, without any wood, is very tough.

I'm semi-sad tonight, and I don't know why. My seniors are graduating? Or maybe because I soon, will be in that same spot. I will be a graduate of BHS, and soon to be doing what I must do for the rest of my life..

Who knows. God does, and I trust that. That is truly, the only constant thing in my life at this point, God. And its Amazing.

I have an ACT test tomorrow.. So, yeah..

I'll also be posting this same post onto my "public" blog, just, without the private blog info.. which.. isn't much this time.

Man, does time Fly.



With much (sorrow) (regret) (longing) solemnity,

-Martin

*blink*

So, uhh, I don't even know where to start. Seriously. I don't. If I updated everything that was on my mind, we'd be reading pages now, but if I say to little, I won't be able to pick up where I left off the last time.

So, its been just over a month, and High School is making its way to an end, at least, for this year. 9 Days left of school, and Senior Year is fast approaching. Amanda Anderson worked her way into, and then quickly out of my life, in the span of about a month, so, that was fun.

Finally "un-blocked" Margie, that was fun. I blocked her, because she was being a jerk, and I just didn't even want the thought of her in my life for awhile.... It was really nice. Seriously, I enjoyed it.

Uhh, Sarah S also kinda entered near FBLA State, kinda lingered, and then, BOOM, slapped in teh face, and ran away. Apparently she doesn't want to hurt a nice guy like me. Seems she knows exactly the type of guy I am.... *sigh*, LAME.

So, I missed my shift at work on saturday. THAT sucked. I was super pumped for being Floor Guard, and yet, BOOM. Missed the whole shift. Managers laughed at me, and told me not to do it again. I should only have work on friday, this coming. We'll see.

Meh. I'm so bored. I really want a girlfriend. This suckssss. Now what? I feel so.. useless, except, for, God, but, thats awesome.

Personal Relationship with God is growing. Its kinda nice. Ima make a blog post on 1 chapter, 1 day, it'll be fun. Maybe Justin'll get it.

MANG

Why does time fly so fast?! Seriously, it doesn't seem like just a month ago I was updating this.

IDK, just, its crazy how things go. Ranting about girls, start, now.

So, high school. Firstly, its almost over. Seriously, I'm at the 3/4's point right now in my junior year, along with the 3/4's part of the whole career.... Why don't people ever tell you its going to go by fast?

I mean, people are like "Life is short..", but they're never like "HIGHSCHOOL IS UBER FREAKING SHORT. ENJOY IT." There's my side-rant about high school.

So. Women. Gotta love em... except.. not always... They're so confusing sometimes.. Goodness. Can't live with them, can't live without them..

Honestly though, I'm so freaking confused about girls in my life. Its to the point of where I feel like I'm schizophrenic. One side of me is screaming for some type of relationship, where the other is screaming me to keep it purely friendly... and both sides are at eternal war with themselves!

High school should be a place for casual dating, a place for you to understand what you're looking for in the opposite sex, and to have some fun while doing it. Keeping aware of your boundaries, while attempting to ground yourself to the real world, with its real consequences is also part of the equation..

Sadly, I can't seem to find someone who feels the same way that I do, but if I do, they seem to be stuck up within their group of friends, and not willing to venture out and meet a new guy, who justs want to be himself (quite hard to do these days, within itself).

Along that note, Clinging sucks. I'm not a christmas tree, and you're not my ornament, please, if I don't look like I'm enjoying the presence of you, and especially not enjoying the hugs, please, BACK OFF....

>.>


Back to rant.


Where is the line we should draw in high school? I know a friend of mine is trying to even go so far as keeping hugging to a minimum (not quite my style), but then I know other friends who engage regularly in sex (once again, not my style). I need to find a happy medium... and yet, no matter how hard I try, it doesn't seem to work.

'Tis the human aspect of me, I fail, and it sucks. Every day I'm reminded of how much I can suck, and will suck, and will continue to suck. Like Paul says (roughly translated) "I do the things I don't want to do." I mean, its just, CONSTANTLY being a retarded kid with my down syndrome. FML. Not really. I love life. God is good. I love him too.

Seriously. Girls, please, stop killing my mind. I'm ready for high school to get out simply just to start REAL dating. Once I actually like, have a CHANCE to do some serious dating, I think I'll be okay.

Another note! Most of my relationships have failed! Hard Core! Its been horrible... but I mean, its me to blame. I just won't compromise for being me, and sadly, some girls don't like me for who I am. Its just part of the process of this dating thing. Trying to find a girl who will like me for who I am, for the rest of this little short insignificant (not quite) thing called life.


/end rant. Not really.

'nuff saiad for now.... although, I have had some posative relationships that I would not trade for the world. *nods* That means you.

Its been good ranting. Its time to go be a normal teenager again, and put life on cruise control.

bbl guys, I gotta go be a sheep.



Thanks. Yeah...


Done.

Wow.

From the last post, lots of things have happened. Oasis disbanded. Alyzar, the jerk he is, picked up members, made a new guild.

I started a new guild, got about 2-3 members, and then disbanded it. Crazy stuff.


Uhh.. life is crazy... supposedly doing math homework now... uhh... yeah!



I'll update hardcore later sometime. Avatar is amazing, along with the music. DLing it now, gonna watch it friday if I'm doing nothing else.


BYE

Moar Responsability!!

Dear people who might read this blog.

I have a guild, and its called Oasis. A custom domain would actually.. be quite nice in the life of this guild too. We now have an official Age of Chivalry dedicated server, and we're growing with members daily.

I would love a custom domain for a few reasons... Firstly, it would make the guild that I run, look more professional. Although, its also a gaming guild.. so you can only get so "classy".

Secondly, I think my members would feel more inclined to spread the word about our guild because of its unique name. Having the whole website host-name after a guild can be awfully bad-looking sometimes. A Custom domain would fix this.

Finally, having a custom domain is just cool. Plus, Lefora would get mad props for being these awesome people who gave out custom domains....

ANYWAY

Lefora! <------ Cool Forum Website. Check it out, really simple + easy to use interface, and easily customizable.



Thats all Folks!



BTW:


Life is good. School is easy. Band is Fun.

GG, No RE.



<3

-Martin.

Rawr.

Back to the normal old grind. Gotta love it.

Life is good. Summer is amazing. People are great. Friends are timeless. I'm freaking tired.


Seems things finally are working out. You know. Just. Things. And then other things. Plus some other things too.


ZOMG. NERDGASM

MORTAL ONLINE

MONDAY, JULY 14TH



WOOOOOO




yeah... i'm tired....


<3









































<3 again.





Goodnight!!!

Not really.



hi. =]



GG, No RE, ttyl, bbl, ysbilyanwekwtmslirgay. Its a really long acronym that i've forgotten already.



I'll be around.

Its about that time...

You know. For an update!!

Summer so far, has been quite nice, despite the fact that it seems like it been going on for MUCH longer than only 1 week.

Yes, thats right. Summer is officially 1 week old... can you believe it?? It feels like much... much longer for me. Although.. I guess thats a good thing.

Personally, it still hasnt really kicked me in the face, you know, the fact that its summer and all. Like, yesterday, I could've SWORN it was saturday, and just, today, it feels like sunday, and like there's school tomorrow.

Its so odd, just being able to relax.. and just... yeah... *sigh*. Good times.


So Justin is reformatting his computer tonight, and its about darn time. Been threatening for quite a long time now. Hopefully, once its all done and over with, we'll be able to actually play some games together. Thats the goal atleast.


Amy Fox is currently down in... uhh... somewhere.. down south... near orlando... Kissimmi!!! I think, however you spell it.

She went down there to stay in a condo for about a week with her family, and to just chillax. Woot for relaxation. Ima need some before too much longer... *sigh*, mountains trip... not again....


So life right now, is quite nice. Everything has aligned to quite the perfect balance of friends + Activities + Family... and what I mean by the perfect balance of family, is just enough time to see them, ask to do something, and then say thanks. Haha, its horrible, I know, but I figure i'll get plenty of "bonding" time when i drive my parents, or mom, or someone, up to north carolina, which, is a nice 12 hour drive away.

I wonder what driving some odd 12 hours will be like... I mean, maybe without my parents it'd be a lot more fun, becuase then I could really listen to music as loud as I'd like, and just, think about whatever.

I mean, I can still think about whatever, but there'll just be a parent next to me, trying to get me to talk 99% of the time, if they're not asleep. Meh... Oh well.


Lately, I've really been wanting to just play some games, but I'm scared that my parents will want me to do something, and i'll have to let down people I'm playing with, and just get them all mad at me.

Meh... I think I care about my commitments too much... well, maybe virtually.. but those are real people I'm talking with!! Waghghghggh, I dont even know.




Conclusion. Life is amazing. Not really much else to say.


Hung out with Justin + Taylor today. That was fun. Now they can officially relate a name to a face, and a voice, and some actions, and some conversations, and some games... and well, just general memories. lawl.



Good times..... ;)


I'll be around.


-Marty.