Considering the fact that I problably lead anyone off who WAS reading this, here goes a few bits of my mind for everyone... aka: nobody.
So, I like this girl named Margie. Yet, she's going out with my best friend. Had some history within all that, but its history. Done, over with. She went with him, and here I am. Although, lately, it almost seems as if she's regretting it slightly. I mean, she likes him, but it almost seems as if she would like to pick someone else go for.
She mentions that she is looking at the broader side of the dating horizon, which almost makes me think I might have a chance in the near future. That'd be awesome... except, well, what if she pulls another Justin? Do I seriously want to go through all of this..... again? Aparently I just didnt size up to Justin. So like... whats to keep that from happening again? Obviously she chose someone else over me in the first place, so I have some big doubts in the whole scheme of this. Dont get me wrong though. If there was some way to know that that wouldnt happen.... I'd be there in a heartbeat.
Idk, it seems like being..... 2nd best, I guess you could say, isnt quite what I had wanted it to be. Life certainly isnt perfect, and we cant have everything that we want, but just. Maybe some things are meant to work out not well?
My mind tonight, is doing some serious mulling. Its thinking, and confusing itself. I'm also mentally fatigued beyond belief so that may have something to do with it. I think I'm just being more open than I usually am.
If anyone does end up reading this, just remember. Its a blog. Its something I use to vent. Some of the things I say on here may be true, and others I could just be emotional about. Haha, thats right. Me. Martin, emotional. Amazing, I know.
This represents my thoughts, and maybe where I think blame should be. But honestly, this is some of my more selfish, and random thoughts, that I can say without really having to worry about it. If you ARE reading this, its your own decision, and you accept the responsability of what you see here. Sorry if its not sugar-coated.
So today in band was fun. 2 hours of wasted time, and 15 minutes out late. Kaminsky is a good guy, but he seriously needs to get his act together. My main complaint? No eye contact. He always tells us that being on-time, is 15 minutes late. So why cant you follow through, and actually let us out ON time? If you make such a big deal about us, why dont you step up to the plate, and actually try what your talking about? Rawr.
Quick-Random update from me, that wasnt really quick. I thought about most of this rather slowly. lol, whatever. if you read this? Kudos.
Have a cookie. See ya around.
Oh, PS, Margie, if you DO read this. Your last hint, for that second blog is " - "
GL, HF
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Argh
Argh argh argh arGH!!!!!!!
Seriously, Margie made a dent in me that wont be repaired for a long, long time. Bit of background, as to why.
We have the most in common, as of anyone else I know. Seriously? Our personalities mesh so well its not even funny. If Me and Emily had even HALF of the chemistry that Margie and I do, I would be happy.
That alone is enough to make me go crazy for atleast a few months... which it has. Then came the day when she decided that she didnt like me anymore. That was a harsh one. She chose Justin, one of my best friends to this day. And somehow, she expects me to live with it. If your reading this, that sounds horrible, but nobody does read it, so I can tell it in its pure view to me.
So, Justin asked her out, second day of school, and of course, she says yes. That about killed me. I drew some random freaking picture trying to vent emotions, and it hasnt helped. For awhile now, I suppose I've been doing pretty good about my feelings for her, but as time goes on, I keep seeing her, because she's my best friends girlfriend. What. The. Hell. Seriously? I dont like, EXTREMELY like her right now, but given the chance, and the right time, I could see it working. Quite well.
Worst of it all, She's been bringing up the past to me. Considering we're friends, its all good to talk about it now. I mean, I had done really well! No real feelings coming back to haunt me, but then she braught up Iron Man. That was the first real movie that I knew she liked me, and I was testing the waters of her personality. Seriously? That was one of the most fun, and enjoyable movies of my life. She braught it up, and it just unthawed about 2-3 months worth of freezing. Emotionally.
This is only my way of getting things out, and attempting to vent. My dog Gingers next to me, and I suppose I should give her some attention. So here goes.
Argh.
Seriously, Margie made a dent in me that wont be repaired for a long, long time. Bit of background, as to why.
We have the most in common, as of anyone else I know. Seriously? Our personalities mesh so well its not even funny. If Me and Emily had even HALF of the chemistry that Margie and I do, I would be happy.
That alone is enough to make me go crazy for atleast a few months... which it has. Then came the day when she decided that she didnt like me anymore. That was a harsh one. She chose Justin, one of my best friends to this day. And somehow, she expects me to live with it. If your reading this, that sounds horrible, but nobody does read it, so I can tell it in its pure view to me.
So, Justin asked her out, second day of school, and of course, she says yes. That about killed me. I drew some random freaking picture trying to vent emotions, and it hasnt helped. For awhile now, I suppose I've been doing pretty good about my feelings for her, but as time goes on, I keep seeing her, because she's my best friends girlfriend. What. The. Hell. Seriously? I dont like, EXTREMELY like her right now, but given the chance, and the right time, I could see it working. Quite well.
Worst of it all, She's been bringing up the past to me. Considering we're friends, its all good to talk about it now. I mean, I had done really well! No real feelings coming back to haunt me, but then she braught up Iron Man. That was the first real movie that I knew she liked me, and I was testing the waters of her personality. Seriously? That was one of the most fun, and enjoyable movies of my life. She braught it up, and it just unthawed about 2-3 months worth of freezing. Emotionally.
This is only my way of getting things out, and attempting to vent. My dog Gingers next to me, and I suppose I should give her some attention. So here goes.
Argh.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Finer Joys of Life
So, I broke up with my girlfriend today. Thank. God.
Honestly? I should've listened to my GUT FEELING on that one. It hasnt lead me wrong when it comes to girls. WTF is my problem. Srsly? I dont know.
Emily; Hot girl. Dark skin, Brown eyes. Long legs, toned muscles. Sounds like a dream right? Especially for a kid like me. Goodness. But under that finely toned, tanned skin... She has a personallity that I hope Iwont ever encounter again.
She gets annoyed... QUITE easily. I couldnt be ME around her!! She'd be like, MARTIN STOP THAT!! Or just, DONT DO THAT AGAIN. RAWR RAWR RAWR. I might be overexaggerating just a BIT but you know. Nobody I knows going to read this, so its okay.
Yeah. Our personalities plain out just, Did not match. We're two COMPLETELY different people. Like, for real.... So yeah. There's that.
Although, I will miss those kisses. She was a damn good kisser.... Oh well. My fault. Life goes on.
=]
Our first HS football game was tonight. As in, BAND oriented game. We did pre-game. Cool stuff...
Our first show wasnt horrible. Could've been better... and I'm sure it will later on. I didnt make too many mistakes, but darn, you certainly do lose your breath on this one.....
Random update. There it is. Had to get that Emily thing out of my system. WOOT. LIFE IS GOOD! IM SINGLE!!!
Honestly? I should've listened to my GUT FEELING on that one. It hasnt lead me wrong when it comes to girls. WTF is my problem. Srsly? I dont know.
Emily; Hot girl. Dark skin, Brown eyes. Long legs, toned muscles. Sounds like a dream right? Especially for a kid like me. Goodness. But under that finely toned, tanned skin... She has a personallity that I hope Iwont ever encounter again.
She gets annoyed... QUITE easily. I couldnt be ME around her!! She'd be like, MARTIN STOP THAT!! Or just, DONT DO THAT AGAIN. RAWR RAWR RAWR. I might be overexaggerating just a BIT but you know. Nobody I knows going to read this, so its okay.
Yeah. Our personalities plain out just, Did not match. We're two COMPLETELY different people. Like, for real.... So yeah. There's that.
Although, I will miss those kisses. She was a damn good kisser.... Oh well. My fault. Life goes on.
=]
Our first HS football game was tonight. As in, BAND oriented game. We did pre-game. Cool stuff...
Our first show wasnt horrible. Could've been better... and I'm sure it will later on. I didnt make too many mistakes, but darn, you certainly do lose your breath on this one.....
Random update. There it is. Had to get that Emily thing out of my system. WOOT. LIFE IS GOOD! IM SINGLE!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
ZOMG...#2?!
So, pretty much, life is GREAT right now. I have an awesome girlfriend named Emily. Which I TOTALLY ate my words, 2 posts down. Band is awesome, somehow I got really like... good-moody during it, and just, it went by rather quick. I've about leveled out all those girl-relationships that have been rocky, and Justin's finally going out with Margie.
For a second, I was extremely happy to hear of them going out, but there was that pang of regret. It lasted for maybe like, 40minutes to 1hour. But, then i called Emily, and things went great. She really is an awesome girl...
So yeah. Simple and short update. I might talk about teachers and school later. Maybe. It'd take awhile...
Oh, and for future's sake. I HATE THOLEN. Simply put. There. okay.
Bye
For a second, I was extremely happy to hear of them going out, but there was that pang of regret. It lasted for maybe like, 40minutes to 1hour. But, then i called Emily, and things went great. She really is an awesome girl...
So yeah. Simple and short update. I might talk about teachers and school later. Maybe. It'd take awhile...
Oh, and for future's sake. I HATE THOLEN. Simply put. There. okay.
Bye
Saturday, August 16, 2008
ZOMG
WOW... Massive update.
Band Camp is over, I have an awesome girlfriend, and schools fixing to start.
This year... is something I'm going to just have to jump into. I cant just dip my feet into, and hope to survivie. My schedule includes 4 honors classes, Band, and Spanish. I'm taking 2 band courses this year, with Jazz band in the mornings, and Wind Symphony as an actual class. Already, school one day away, I've been lazy. I was supposed to read 2 books this summer... dropped the ball on that one. To Kill a Mockingbird I finished today, it was actually better than I remember back in 8th grade, and the Count of Montecristo is something that I'm going to have to sparknote sometime later.
My girlfriends name is Emily, and I certainly hope things go very well. We'll see how it goes over the next weeks.
Short update. Just for the sake of me.
GL and HF
GG.
Band Camp is over, I have an awesome girlfriend, and schools fixing to start.
This year... is something I'm going to just have to jump into. I cant just dip my feet into, and hope to survivie. My schedule includes 4 honors classes, Band, and Spanish. I'm taking 2 band courses this year, with Jazz band in the mornings, and Wind Symphony as an actual class. Already, school one day away, I've been lazy. I was supposed to read 2 books this summer... dropped the ball on that one. To Kill a Mockingbird I finished today, it was actually better than I remember back in 8th grade, and the Count of Montecristo is something that I'm going to have to sparknote sometime later.
My girlfriends name is Emily, and I certainly hope things go very well. We'll see how it goes over the next weeks.
Short update. Just for the sake of me.
GL and HF
GG.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Number Two
As I type this, I'm waiting for someone to give me something interesting to talk about. Her names Emily, and she could be a potential girlfriend in the future. lol, who knows. I dont think me and her have enough similairities to really try anything. Who knows though, I could eat my words later on. I mean, if anything, she doesnt look half bad. Whatever. We'll see. I personally dont think we "click" enough for anything.
Oh my goodness. These past 2-3 weeks have been INTENSE. Band Camp was freaking Hell... although, I actually, almost enjoyed it. Its something you dont want to do, but you make the best of it, and you learn a bunch of core value's. Of course, not being a freshman is also AWESOME. I'm not always the one being corrected, and I even got "Best Returning Member" this year! I was so happy! I love this blog, because I can state some of my true feelings without anyone knowing. Good times.
Anyway, so Margie. She really made a train wreck in my head... big time. I've never seen a girl thats been able to manipulate me so well, and then just discard me. I mean, aside from being TOTALLY heartbroken, she went with a good friend of mine, whom I introduced to her. Talk about freaking Ironic. I mean, this whole story is just laced with irony. Whatever. Anyway, so I'm STILL trying to get ovet that, because like, I wish I could totally throw out some of my emotions, because its just, it makes me REALLY mad. Yet, somehow, I still have to try and be friends. Thank God for this blog.
Band Camp was crazy. about 8-9 incoming freshman were taught how to march, how to play advanced music, and run around on a field in about 8 days. Amazing what a group of people can do when you all unite under a common delima. Next year, hopefully, Justin and I will be Co-Captains, and pure awesomeness will ensue.
Anyway. There's my vent for tonight. Maybe you'll get another in a few weeks. But of course, I'm sure nobody reads this anyways, so it works out quite well... =]
-Martin
Oh my goodness. These past 2-3 weeks have been INTENSE. Band Camp was freaking Hell... although, I actually, almost enjoyed it. Its something you dont want to do, but you make the best of it, and you learn a bunch of core value's. Of course, not being a freshman is also AWESOME. I'm not always the one being corrected, and I even got "Best Returning Member" this year! I was so happy! I love this blog, because I can state some of my true feelings without anyone knowing. Good times.
Anyway, so Margie. She really made a train wreck in my head... big time. I've never seen a girl thats been able to manipulate me so well, and then just discard me. I mean, aside from being TOTALLY heartbroken, she went with a good friend of mine, whom I introduced to her. Talk about freaking Ironic. I mean, this whole story is just laced with irony. Whatever. Anyway, so I'm STILL trying to get ovet that, because like, I wish I could totally throw out some of my emotions, because its just, it makes me REALLY mad. Yet, somehow, I still have to try and be friends. Thank God for this blog.
Band Camp was crazy. about 8-9 incoming freshman were taught how to march, how to play advanced music, and run around on a field in about 8 days. Amazing what a group of people can do when you all unite under a common delima. Next year, hopefully, Justin and I will be Co-Captains, and pure awesomeness will ensue.
Anyway. There's my vent for tonight. Maybe you'll get another in a few weeks. But of course, I'm sure nobody reads this anyways, so it works out quite well... =]
-Martin
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