Happy Birthday

As of this morning, I officially passed the 16th year mark, of my life on this planet.

Day started with presents, shower, school, dinner, game. Within those catagorys, lots happened. As to what? Most of it doesnt matter. Everyday life. Others... still not important.

Honestly, these past 3 weeks, have problably been the most taxing of my entire life. Between trying to sort through emotions in my head, and attempting to quell best friends. Its been a freaking pain. 

So, if you could've guessed, today wasnt necessarily my best day ever. Yet... Time stops for no man. The day is over, and I'm 16.

Justin gave me a link to his blog, and thats quite interesting. Gave me a little bit of insight. His views, are actually quite close to mine. Funny how we share a bunch of the same opinions and views on life.

Argh. Sometimes though, its annoying how paranoid and.... I suppose, Ignorant he is right now.

Your first girlfriend, is something thats crazy. Your life gets flipped upside down, and your introduced to millions upon millions of new things. Add that along to the already insanely crazy life of highschool, and you get a crazy asian kid. Love is something that, in my opinion, is not to be used unless you know for darn well sure you "love" them. Its not something that happens in a few months. Of course, there's always rules to the exception, but as society would have us see it today, Love is something you can find lying on the street, and take it for a spin. If "love" doesnt work out, Divorce it. Its not like its something socially valuable anyways these days.

That is the one thing that makes me... annoyed. When people throw around the word love, and expect it to settle with me. You've seen my quote on love. Love is perfect. There are NO flaws in love. How can you Love someone, and not trust them at the same time? I honestly, cannot understand. Love is something that you cannot describe. I have yet to feel any type of love toward someone aside from "brothers" and parents. First girlfriend, I said it. I said "I love you" to her, because just, I thought I did. Every single day I was away from her, I felt a longing. Obviously, I was young, and stupid. Had NO idea what I was talking about. 

In the past, I questioned my liking for Margie as Love at one point. I pondered it, for quite some time. I even think I pondered about Marriage, heck, why not? Nothing bad comes from thinking right? Anyway, I pondered it for awhile. Came to the conclusion that I didnt, purely because I knew, that Love is something I dont have the patience for. If I were to say that I "Loved" Margie, I'd only be lying to myself. How can I love somebody, if I cant respect their own decisions? What type of a hypocrit would I be, if I said I loved somebody, yet I couldnt follow through with my own freaking opinion?

Words cannot describe love, and generations have failed trying to explain it. Why even attempt to limit the description of love with words? Its not worth it. It never will be. Love is something given by God, and God cannot be explained. Love is our most valuable gift in this world, so why try to hinder it? Justin certainly does have some strong feelings for this girl, but at a first relationship, that only intensifies things. I honestly can say, that I felt just as strongly as he does, but she chose him. I have to somehow attempt to respect that, and move on with life. Freaking. Argh.

Respecting somebodys decision, in reality, is problably one of the hardest things you could ever try to do. The simple word "No" is something we hear quite often in our society today, but its never taken seriously. If your told no, then all you try to do is get around it. You figure, "He obviously wasnt in his right mind. He could'nt have meant no!! Lets try another way." Why not just respect the decision? Nobody likes being rejected, or being told they cant do something. It makes us feel inferior. Yet, it also puts us in our place. Sometimes, we have to learn that everybody is equal, and their No means just as much as ours does. Respect that. Live with it. Get on with life.

Simply put, tonight is my rant night. Today wasnt the best, and I dont drive on my own for two months.



*sings*

Happy Birthday.... to....me.....