Seems this blog has withstood the test of time... atleast, for a little bit. Its month 5, with 50 posts... haha, thats roughly 10 posts a month!!
I've done much better with keepthing this thing up than I could've ever imagined. I mean... haha, whatever. It doesnt matter. A Blogs a Blog, and thats it... woot for consistancy though. Thats awesome.
This is my 50th post on this blog, and I can honestly say I never in my life expected so much to happen between that first post, and here. It truly does seem more than 5 months. Fond memories.
Life is good now. I'm learning to drive a stick shift much more smooth, and lord willing, I'll be able to drive it quite well as school gets back in.
I seem to be really tired today, so I think I might take a nap. Thanks for reading? Haha, maybe only 1 person reads this anymore... and that could be rare. XD
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!!
Amazing how a man forgets this thing even exists when life is good!!
Check this out. Big update... or lack thereof.
So, its been exactly 3 weeks since I last posted. Lots of happened since then, and honestly, I cant remember it all. As all good stories go, there's a bit of girl drama, so just hold tight. ;)
Finals were last week. What a week... so long... so hard... and heck, I dont even have AP/Pre-AP classes.... Wait. 1 AP class... but honestly, its not an AP class. Anyway, yeah, that was fun.
Week before that, quite possibly the longest week ever. Just a really really long week, thats all.
Week before that? Dont remember. It was good. Everything in these last few posts have been great. Honestly, no complaints.
So. Girls. Lets venture upon this topic once again. I personally believe I have 3ish options right now.
1. Melissa Hoffman. Honestly, she's problably my best "Choice" if you want to call it this.
Sidenote - Honestly, I dont look as these girls as a list. Each person I've gotten to know quite well, and I'm just weighing out pros and cons to voice it to myself.
Anyway. Melissa. She's actually an "ex" of mine. We went out for about 2 weeks in eigth grade, and then she broke up with me. It actually, really... really hurt. lol, yeah. Fond memories. She's a wonderful girl, not half bad looking, and we get along like hardly any other people I know.
2. Taylor Simpson. Known this girl since kindergarden... or 1st grade. She insists it was 1st grade, but I think it was Kindergarden. lol, either way, we get along really well, and idk, just, I need to get to know her more. Attempted to go to the beach with her and a friend a few months back, but it failed. Flat tire on the way there. Fond memories.
3. Nicole Outler. Just met her this year, and she's a freshman. Haha, crazy, I know. She's one of the more mature freshman out there, which is nice. I have a really strong feeling that she does, infact, like me. This is a rather bad situation for me, partially because she gives really good hugs. lol, eh.. Ima have to back off on those hugs and whatnot. I absolutely cannot lead anyone else on in my entire life. Its a HORRIBLE trait that I can misintentionally do. Absolutely horrible.
Nicole is a good girl, with a good head on her shoulders. We get along fine... as friends. For the time being, I dont see myself going any father than simply what we are now. Its works fine for me. Sucks to say it, but as of now, I see her nothing more than a friend.... Why is she on this list then?? I dont know. Venting purposes. YOu know the drill. I wake up tomorrow, forget I ever vented, and live the good life, of course. Then somebody reads it. Gets offended/Hurt/upset. And I just vent more....
I Love Blogs...
On a side note. Its christmas today. I got a car. I absolutely love stick shift.
Merry Christmas!! Be back in another four weeks. rofl.
GG
Check this out. Big update... or lack thereof.
So, its been exactly 3 weeks since I last posted. Lots of happened since then, and honestly, I cant remember it all. As all good stories go, there's a bit of girl drama, so just hold tight. ;)
Finals were last week. What a week... so long... so hard... and heck, I dont even have AP/Pre-AP classes.... Wait. 1 AP class... but honestly, its not an AP class. Anyway, yeah, that was fun.
Week before that, quite possibly the longest week ever. Just a really really long week, thats all.
Week before that? Dont remember. It was good. Everything in these last few posts have been great. Honestly, no complaints.
So. Girls. Lets venture upon this topic once again. I personally believe I have 3ish options right now.
1. Melissa Hoffman. Honestly, she's problably my best "Choice" if you want to call it this.
Sidenote - Honestly, I dont look as these girls as a list. Each person I've gotten to know quite well, and I'm just weighing out pros and cons to voice it to myself.
Anyway. Melissa. She's actually an "ex" of mine. We went out for about 2 weeks in eigth grade, and then she broke up with me. It actually, really... really hurt. lol, yeah. Fond memories. She's a wonderful girl, not half bad looking, and we get along like hardly any other people I know.
2. Taylor Simpson. Known this girl since kindergarden... or 1st grade. She insists it was 1st grade, but I think it was Kindergarden. lol, either way, we get along really well, and idk, just, I need to get to know her more. Attempted to go to the beach with her and a friend a few months back, but it failed. Flat tire on the way there. Fond memories.
3. Nicole Outler. Just met her this year, and she's a freshman. Haha, crazy, I know. She's one of the more mature freshman out there, which is nice. I have a really strong feeling that she does, infact, like me. This is a rather bad situation for me, partially because she gives really good hugs. lol, eh.. Ima have to back off on those hugs and whatnot. I absolutely cannot lead anyone else on in my entire life. Its a HORRIBLE trait that I can misintentionally do. Absolutely horrible.
Nicole is a good girl, with a good head on her shoulders. We get along fine... as friends. For the time being, I dont see myself going any father than simply what we are now. Its works fine for me. Sucks to say it, but as of now, I see her nothing more than a friend.... Why is she on this list then?? I dont know. Venting purposes. YOu know the drill. I wake up tomorrow, forget I ever vented, and live the good life, of course. Then somebody reads it. Gets offended/Hurt/upset. And I just vent more....
I Love Blogs...
On a side note. Its christmas today. I got a car. I absolutely love stick shift.
Merry Christmas!! Be back in another four weeks. rofl.
GG
Thursday, December 4, 2008
All is calm
With no more stalkers reading this thing, you officially must know that life is good.
Everything is still... the water goes without a ripple. What little raindrops that do come, ripple away without notice.
*sigh*
good times.
I suppose its been overdue in my life for some drama. I wonder where it'll come from next.
Here's the last bit of the Margie Chronicles:
Justin and Margie broke up. Quite awhile ago actually. I dont remember when I stopped liking her... I'm sure its in a post somewhere far down there, but I stopped.
Choas ensued, just as I had predicted. Justin was devastated. Margie was a bit upset for awhile... although, its all to be expected. The first breakup is really... insane. Its almost surreal. I mean, you just... dont ever see it coming. Absolutely horrible, I must tell you.
They broke up. It was quite rocky for a few weeks thereafter. Lots of sorrys, and why's, and all this stuff.... but surprisingly enough. Both of them lived.
Life has been pretty much normal up untill now, from then. Although, Margie isnt quite the friend I expected her to be. Its not my fault though... it has to come through a willingness on her part. Not mine. So in that respect... So be it.
I want to expand a little bit on that... despite my closing words. Genevieve. She has remained... if you will "consistant". lol, Gen? Consistant?! Its true. She's actually been more consistant than say someone like Margie. Rediculus. I know.
Whatever. I'm always here when she does decide to be a bit closer of a friend. Thats me. Always here. Hah. Good times.
Schools going right along... and marching seasons over. Its crazy, and even at times, I almost miss it... ALMOST. Haha, it'll just make next year cooler.
Thats it for now. Thanks for reading.... ;)
Bye.
Everything is still... the water goes without a ripple. What little raindrops that do come, ripple away without notice.
*sigh*
good times.
I suppose its been overdue in my life for some drama. I wonder where it'll come from next.
Here's the last bit of the Margie Chronicles:
Justin and Margie broke up. Quite awhile ago actually. I dont remember when I stopped liking her... I'm sure its in a post somewhere far down there, but I stopped.
Choas ensued, just as I had predicted. Justin was devastated. Margie was a bit upset for awhile... although, its all to be expected. The first breakup is really... insane. Its almost surreal. I mean, you just... dont ever see it coming. Absolutely horrible, I must tell you.
They broke up. It was quite rocky for a few weeks thereafter. Lots of sorrys, and why's, and all this stuff.... but surprisingly enough. Both of them lived.
Life has been pretty much normal up untill now, from then. Although, Margie isnt quite the friend I expected her to be. Its not my fault though... it has to come through a willingness on her part. Not mine. So in that respect... So be it.
I want to expand a little bit on that... despite my closing words. Genevieve. She has remained... if you will "consistant". lol, Gen? Consistant?! Its true. She's actually been more consistant than say someone like Margie. Rediculus. I know.
Whatever. I'm always here when she does decide to be a bit closer of a friend. Thats me. Always here. Hah. Good times.
Schools going right along... and marching seasons over. Its crazy, and even at times, I almost miss it... ALMOST. Haha, it'll just make next year cooler.
Thats it for now. Thanks for reading.... ;)
Bye.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Living the Good Life
Ahhh.... The taste of freedom.
Its quite amazing to feel how amazing the end of marching season is. It feels so.... tiring. haha, but whatever! It's over! Life is good! I need to shave!! No more band!!
So, here's the thing, I dont usually update my blog unless something haywire's gone off, so you know, no news is good news? Haha, nobody reads this one anymore, so like, I could pretty much say whatever I want. My other one is still hidden nicely also... life is good. =D
Haha, yeah. Good times.......
Although, you know, sometimes I wish I could go back to when everyone still talked to me.
We've all grown apart. Although, now that I think about it, the only thing that was holding us together was something that would never work.
Funny how things happen...
Its quite amazing to feel how amazing the end of marching season is. It feels so.... tiring. haha, but whatever! It's over! Life is good! I need to shave!! No more band!!
So, here's the thing, I dont usually update my blog unless something haywire's gone off, so you know, no news is good news? Haha, nobody reads this one anymore, so like, I could pretty much say whatever I want. My other one is still hidden nicely also... life is good. =D
Haha, yeah. Good times.......
Although, you know, sometimes I wish I could go back to when everyone still talked to me.
We've all grown apart. Although, now that I think about it, the only thing that was holding us together was something that would never work.
Funny how things happen...
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Surprise Surprise
Turns out poison doesnt willingly pass through your body. It takes time, effort, and some suffering for it to finally leave.
Pretty retarded how I... passively let this poison stay in me. Really stupid to be more descriptive. I hate this poisoin, I honestly do. Yet, argh. Idk.
Not much really to say. Life has been going good. Simple as that...
All that remains is some "poison". Heh.... Good times.
Pretty retarded how I... passively let this poison stay in me. Really stupid to be more descriptive. I hate this poisoin, I honestly do. Yet, argh. Idk.
Not much really to say. Life has been going good. Simple as that...
All that remains is some "poison". Heh.... Good times.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
You Stalker!!!!!
Hah, Just called you... and you out!!! =PPP
You know what, right now, life is quite awesome. I'm not gonna lie. Not caring about anything but school? Amazing. Quite honestly, amazing.
I have no friends to "care" about in a sense. Nobody comes to me first, therefore, no problems!! I can sit back, relax, and eat popcorn while everyone else runs around with their heads chopped off.
Plus, this long weekend? WOOT. Seriously... life right now, Is so awesome. I truly, and honestly, cant complain.
Ashame to admit it though, but I'm still having a bit of trouble just letting go of everything. Some things want to hang on. Almost how a cookie always sheds crumbs, except, this isnt a cookie. This is more of a weed that refuses to be pulled.
Before too long, hopefully, my mind will whip out the weed killer, but untill then, looks like ima have to do all the work for myself.... =]
Good day today.
You know what, right now, life is quite awesome. I'm not gonna lie. Not caring about anything but school? Amazing. Quite honestly, amazing.
I have no friends to "care" about in a sense. Nobody comes to me first, therefore, no problems!! I can sit back, relax, and eat popcorn while everyone else runs around with their heads chopped off.
Plus, this long weekend? WOOT. Seriously... life right now, Is so awesome. I truly, and honestly, cant complain.
Ashame to admit it though, but I'm still having a bit of trouble just letting go of everything. Some things want to hang on. Almost how a cookie always sheds crumbs, except, this isnt a cookie. This is more of a weed that refuses to be pulled.
Before too long, hopefully, my mind will whip out the weed killer, but untill then, looks like ima have to do all the work for myself.... =]
Good day today.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Moods
I love how my mind goes from happy one minutes, to horribly distressed in the next... oh well. Thats life sometimes.
Today, I ponder the faking of friendships... Can you really fake a friendship? Idk, maybe. I suppose I could do it if I needed, act like everything was fine between me and somebody, but really, I couldnt stand them. Something to ponder about... on my part.
Our first concert is tonight. I'm rather excited! This should be pretty fun. Hopefully we'll get a recording of it eventually, because I'd really like a few of these songs.
here goes nothing!!
GL, HF. Quick update. Thats all
Today, I ponder the faking of friendships... Can you really fake a friendship? Idk, maybe. I suppose I could do it if I needed, act like everything was fine between me and somebody, but really, I couldnt stand them. Something to ponder about... on my part.
Our first concert is tonight. I'm rather excited! This should be pretty fun. Hopefully we'll get a recording of it eventually, because I'd really like a few of these songs.
here goes nothing!!
GL, HF. Quick update. Thats all
Monday, November 3, 2008
Heh
So, as it turns out, history really does repeat itself... Yeah. I figured I'd try to get close to some group of friends. Seemed to work for a little bit... but yet, as always, I'm bounced back into nothing.
Of course, whenever a door closes, a window is always opened, and from that, I've met quite a few good people outside of this group. Of course... they're related to the group, and it just gets me in a big stupid circle.
People wonder... atleast, those who know me, wonder why I hide so much. I do this because of situations like these. I attempt to get close to a group of friends, and I just dont seem to be good enough. I'm never full-heartedly accepted into the group because I'm aparantly not good enough for everyone to agree at once.
Sure, individually, everythings great! Nobodys going to see them interacting with me, so whats the point? Why not be nice? But yet, when things start to get public, it doesnt work. Obviously I'm just not up to par for some people. Either I'm not old enough, mature enough, or just tend to be lacking some detail they have to find in me.... Ashame. It really is.
I believe half the time, people dont even give me a chance. Honestly? Nah, I'm apparently not worth the effort to be given a chance.
This may sound like a really over-reacting type post, and normally, I'd agree. Yet, as I've said, this isnt the first time, nor am I over-reacting. Its simply something that tends to happen time and time again. Why dont people just give me a chance?
Of course, aside from a few specific things examples I have in my mind, most people do give me a chance, and most people except me for who I am. Thats not my complaint. Its the fact that I attempt to grow closer to a select group of people, and each time I try, it gets shoved back in my face.
*sigh*
Good Times.
On a lighter note, report cards came out today.
3 A's,
1 B
1 C
1 D+
1 D.
Good times.
Of course, whenever a door closes, a window is always opened, and from that, I've met quite a few good people outside of this group. Of course... they're related to the group, and it just gets me in a big stupid circle.
People wonder... atleast, those who know me, wonder why I hide so much. I do this because of situations like these. I attempt to get close to a group of friends, and I just dont seem to be good enough. I'm never full-heartedly accepted into the group because I'm aparantly not good enough for everyone to agree at once.
Sure, individually, everythings great! Nobodys going to see them interacting with me, so whats the point? Why not be nice? But yet, when things start to get public, it doesnt work. Obviously I'm just not up to par for some people. Either I'm not old enough, mature enough, or just tend to be lacking some detail they have to find in me.... Ashame. It really is.
I believe half the time, people dont even give me a chance. Honestly? Nah, I'm apparently not worth the effort to be given a chance.
This may sound like a really over-reacting type post, and normally, I'd agree. Yet, as I've said, this isnt the first time, nor am I over-reacting. Its simply something that tends to happen time and time again. Why dont people just give me a chance?
Of course, aside from a few specific things examples I have in my mind, most people do give me a chance, and most people except me for who I am. Thats not my complaint. Its the fact that I attempt to grow closer to a select group of people, and each time I try, it gets shoved back in my face.
*sigh*
Good Times.
On a lighter note, report cards came out today.
3 A's,
1 B
1 C
1 D+
1 D.
Good times.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Quick Update
I JUST FREAKING DELETED LIEK FIVE PARAGRPAHS WORTH OF INFORMATION. DARNIT. SHOOT ME.
-.-
Life has been going. Not too bad. Not altogether amazingly wonderful. Quite bad as of 5 seconds ago, when I DELETED THIS STUPID POSt. RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ANyway....... Yeah. just a quick update.
Lost to GHS again at Southern Showcase. Good times.
God Dangit..... OH WELL. Life goes on.
*stab*.....
*stabity*....
*STABSTABSTAB*
*SHANK*
o.O
I'm not emo. I just feel strange tonight. lol, Good times!
My freedom is gone tomorrow... that could be it. Rawr. darnit. Shoot. FUDGE.
See ya!
-.-
Life has been going. Not too bad. Not altogether amazingly wonderful. Quite bad as of 5 seconds ago, when I DELETED THIS STUPID POSt. RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ANyway....... Yeah. just a quick update.
Lost to GHS again at Southern Showcase. Good times.
God Dangit..... OH WELL. Life goes on.
*stab*.....
*stabity*....
*STABSTABSTAB*
*SHANK*
o.O
I'm not emo. I just feel strange tonight. lol, Good times!
My freedom is gone tomorrow... that could be it. Rawr. darnit. Shoot. FUDGE.
See ya!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Make a Wish
Very... Very soon to be 11:11.
Wanting to document it for the first time!!
Hah!! Here goes nothing....
Wish Well!
Wanting to document it for the first time!!
Hah!! Here goes nothing....
Wish Well!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Change
My mind.... has settled for the difference!
Nothings for certain right now, definitely not... but I feel a sense of ease coming into place. It may be a for a hopeless cause, but nonetheless. I feel.... relaxed.
I'm over her.
I'm noting it here, and I'm screaming it for the world to hear.
Ahh.... The winds of change. I feel them. They're moving me along rather quickly now... I think, just maybe, that these next 9 weeks will be quite nice.
Good Morrow.
Nothings for certain right now, definitely not... but I feel a sense of ease coming into place. It may be a for a hopeless cause, but nonetheless. I feel.... relaxed.
I'm over her.
I'm noting it here, and I'm screaming it for the world to hear.
Ahh.... The winds of change. I feel them. They're moving me along rather quickly now... I think, just maybe, that these next 9 weeks will be quite nice.
Good Morrow.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Good times
Quite a horrible day.... and not just for me.
Funny though. How nobody really knows me.
All the hints I drop, maybe hoping somebody will finally come and find me. Who knows. Maybe somebody will get smart someday. Come and rescue me from this darn maze.
My mind as a maze, that consistantly shifts, and turns, and moves around. I think it fits me quite well.
I call myself consistant.... on my inconsistancy.
Find me.
Funny though. How nobody really knows me.
All the hints I drop, maybe hoping somebody will finally come and find me. Who knows. Maybe somebody will get smart someday. Come and rescue me from this darn maze.
My mind as a maze, that consistantly shifts, and turns, and moves around. I think it fits me quite well.
I call myself consistant.... on my inconsistancy.
Find me.
Tomorrow
Every day, we live for tomorrow. Almost every action we take, every breath we breathe... its for the future, is it not?
Living in the moment... something you hear said, but something I dont think I do very often. Recreational stuff, sure, thats living in the moment.... but how about truely living in the moment? What would that imply? That you honestly dont care about tomorrrow? I couldnt tell you.
I have a feeling I might be changing soon. Maybe for the better, or maybe for the worst. Its getting to the point in my life, where I cant ignore some stuff anymore. Lots of things are coming to a head, and I have a feeling it wont be pretty. For the record, you two reading this, I could be strange. I might be happy, might be sad... but either way. Be consistant. Bear with me. I've got a long, rough road ahead of me.
Day 1 of this week is gone. Did I take anything out of it? Not really. I've gotten my mom worried about me, due to grades. Two of my better friends are both torn, and I'm still left out of everything.
Nope, nothings changed. Still the same ol' kid, still lacking any idea of anything, with the same inconsistant mind.
Good Times.
Living in the moment... something you hear said, but something I dont think I do very often. Recreational stuff, sure, thats living in the moment.... but how about truely living in the moment? What would that imply? That you honestly dont care about tomorrrow? I couldnt tell you.
I have a feeling I might be changing soon. Maybe for the better, or maybe for the worst. Its getting to the point in my life, where I cant ignore some stuff anymore. Lots of things are coming to a head, and I have a feeling it wont be pretty. For the record, you two reading this, I could be strange. I might be happy, might be sad... but either way. Be consistant. Bear with me. I've got a long, rough road ahead of me.
Day 1 of this week is gone. Did I take anything out of it? Not really. I've gotten my mom worried about me, due to grades. Two of my better friends are both torn, and I'm still left out of everything.
Nope, nothings changed. Still the same ol' kid, still lacking any idea of anything, with the same inconsistant mind.
Good Times.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Calm Before the Storm
So, here approaches a new week with school, and with it... MORE WORK. WAHHHHHH!HH!H!H!H
Our band program is fixing to undergo some CRAZYNESS. Like, for real, Rehersal, Practice, BAM BAM
SOUTHERN SHOWCASE!!!!!
WAHHHHHH!HH!H!H!H Although, I think we should do okay this yeaR! OMG IM HYPER.
okay., So yeah. LIFE IS GOOD. YET LIFE IS HORRIBLE. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO TRUST ME?! Argh. Sometimes, I wish I could trust others!! I mean, I can, but then again, I cant! TRUST FREAKING SUCKS.
I love my friends though. Almost every one of them!! THIS IS A RANDOM POST OF RANDOMNESS!!!!!!!!!
*LONG WAIL*
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This weeks going to be freaking.
In.
Tents.
LETS GO CAMPING!!!
Naw, but really. Intense week. I see it now....
Now lets see if I really am psychic......
Our band program is fixing to undergo some CRAZYNESS. Like, for real, Rehersal, Practice, BAM BAM
SOUTHERN SHOWCASE!!!!!
WAHHHHHH!HH!H!H!H Although, I think we should do okay this yeaR! OMG IM HYPER.
okay., So yeah. LIFE IS GOOD. YET LIFE IS HORRIBLE. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO TRUST ME?! Argh. Sometimes, I wish I could trust others!! I mean, I can, but then again, I cant! TRUST FREAKING SUCKS.
I love my friends though. Almost every one of them!! THIS IS A RANDOM POST OF RANDOMNESS!!!!!!!!!
*LONG WAIL*
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This weeks going to be freaking.
In.
Tents.
LETS GO CAMPING!!!
Naw, but really. Intense week. I see it now....
Now lets see if I really am psychic......
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Rawr.
Definition #3 tonight... but just, not as much.
Tonight was good. I saw HSM3 with a few friends, had some decent parts. Cheesy parts too.... meh, I cant complain. It got me out of the house.
As of now, I have 2 readers of this blog, and it makes me uneasy. Updates will be slow to come, and they wont include as much as I might normally vent of. Who knows. Its always a good way to indirectly talk to people.
Only time shall tell.
Good Morrow
Tonight was good. I saw HSM3 with a few friends, had some decent parts. Cheesy parts too.... meh, I cant complain. It got me out of the house.
As of now, I have 2 readers of this blog, and it makes me uneasy. Updates will be slow to come, and they wont include as much as I might normally vent of. Who knows. Its always a good way to indirectly talk to people.
Only time shall tell.
Good Morrow
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Rawr
Step 1. Find other blog
Step 2. Take title, associate it to #3.
Step 3. Recognize how step 2 would work, by using step 1.
Step 4. Attempt to put all this together in order to make a half decent idea.
Step 5. Good luck, and Have fun.
Fun day. We won against GHS tonight. I should be flipping off the walls.... although, my overall level of joy isnt quite what it should be..... I suppose thats life sometimes.
Meh. Rawr. Mrow. These are the words of my life.... not particularly in that order.
Goodnight.
Step 2. Take title, associate it to #3.
Step 3. Recognize how step 2 would work, by using step 1.
Step 4. Attempt to put all this together in order to make a half decent idea.
Step 5. Good luck, and Have fun.
Fun day. We won against GHS tonight. I should be flipping off the walls.... although, my overall level of joy isnt quite what it should be..... I suppose thats life sometimes.
Meh. Rawr. Mrow. These are the words of my life.... not particularly in that order.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
30 posts later
It all started as I couldnt find the original. I was desperate to vent about something, or just bored, and I couldnt remember the email I made to have this blog... so, in turn, a new blog was born.
Never in a million years did I expect such a blog to make such a freaking impact in my life, such as this one has. Its quite amazing, words than I vent when I dont think, and how they can make life so damn miserable! YEah! I said it! DAMN!!!!!! RAWR.
As I said. Im in a strange mood tonight.... ;)
I curse because I mean it. I'm being dead serious about how much my life has been flipped turned upside down because of this stupid blog... yet, it helps me vent. Bittersweet blog you are...
Anyway. 30 posts of awesome memories, and pain-stakenly (some) written posts.
Hurrah for aniversary's...
Hurrah Indeed.
Never in a million years did I expect such a blog to make such a freaking impact in my life, such as this one has. Its quite amazing, words than I vent when I dont think, and how they can make life so damn miserable! YEah! I said it! DAMN!!!!!! RAWR.
As I said. Im in a strange mood tonight.... ;)
I curse because I mean it. I'm being dead serious about how much my life has been flipped turned upside down because of this stupid blog... yet, it helps me vent. Bittersweet blog you are...
Anyway. 30 posts of awesome memories, and pain-stakenly (some) written posts.
Hurrah for aniversary's...
Hurrah Indeed.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Afterparty
Its rather hard to take back something you say.... So, I wont even try.
Simply put, today was a better day, thank God. Well, atleast, Eytan made it good.
Thank God for friends right? Heh... Yeah.
Friends......
*goes to sleep*
Simply put, today was a better day, thank God. Well, atleast, Eytan made it good.
Thank God for friends right? Heh... Yeah.
Friends......
*goes to sleep*
Monday, October 20, 2008
The last piece finally falls into place...
No more complaints. No more doubt.
What does this leave me? Absolutely nothing. Any little bit of a root was dying to grow, has been torn, and all thats left is destruction.
As I sit here, a complete lack of words is settling in. The last peice of the puzzle has been picked up, and its fixing to be put down.
It seems, he has finally learned something for his own.
Another nail into the coffin, another day done.... sometimes I wonder, could tomorrow really bring something that could change my outlook on something this grim? As to why I keep going, I cant altogether tell you.... Except for one thing.
Love.
Love is what holds me together. My friends, my family.... These are the two lights in my life. The few things I can really depend on...
But if I take look at these beacons, do they really hold true? If I were to trust completely in my family, would they hold? I know they would....
Friends, on the other hand. Should I be as so bold to even wonder? I'll hold that question for another day.
As for tonight. I am defeated. All will I have of wanting to see tomorrow is gone, and I have yet to know such defeat as of my entire life...
To truely vent my emotions would be impossible, and to even try would be a task far to great for me.
Tomorrow is another day. That is all I can really rely on as of now. Everything else before me has fallen apart...
The last peice finally has, fallen into place.
What does this leave me? Absolutely nothing. Any little bit of a root was dying to grow, has been torn, and all thats left is destruction.
As I sit here, a complete lack of words is settling in. The last peice of the puzzle has been picked up, and its fixing to be put down.
It seems, he has finally learned something for his own.
Another nail into the coffin, another day done.... sometimes I wonder, could tomorrow really bring something that could change my outlook on something this grim? As to why I keep going, I cant altogether tell you.... Except for one thing.
Love.
Love is what holds me together. My friends, my family.... These are the two lights in my life. The few things I can really depend on...
But if I take look at these beacons, do they really hold true? If I were to trust completely in my family, would they hold? I know they would....
Friends, on the other hand. Should I be as so bold to even wonder? I'll hold that question for another day.
As for tonight. I am defeated. All will I have of wanting to see tomorrow is gone, and I have yet to know such defeat as of my entire life...
To truely vent my emotions would be impossible, and to even try would be a task far to great for me.
Tomorrow is another day. That is all I can really rely on as of now. Everything else before me has fallen apart...
The last peice finally has, fallen into place.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Rawr
Honestly, if this blogger name wasnt so freaking amazing, I'd change it in a heartbeat. Having somebody read all my thoughts really sucks. Plus, using the other one just... isnt the same. I dont have enough history on it yet. RAWR!!!
My mood these past... few weeks? Has been a maze of its own. Between attempting to reason Justin into sense, and everything else thats going on in life, this "Maze" has been shifting more than I'd like.
Once things are finally settled down a bit, a giant turtle hops in, and starts stirring it up again. One thing thats been nice though, is finally being over a certain someone. Global Warming, has officially ended, and now the Iceberg is being transfered to different parts of the globes. Woohoo. -.-
Had a band compitition on saturday.... wouldnt really call it a compitition. More of a "Hey there Buchholz, come to this thing, get straight superiors, and get ready for Southern Showcase!"
Fun stuff.
I zoned out on the busride home. Lots of interesting thoughts went through my head. I'll leave it at that.
Not a big update, because of course, I have a reader now.... Heh, I dont see how Justin willingly updates when he KNOWS we're both going to read it. Atleast I had a purpose statement at the begining of this thing.....
Heh.
RAWR
My mood these past... few weeks? Has been a maze of its own. Between attempting to reason Justin into sense, and everything else thats going on in life, this "Maze" has been shifting more than I'd like.
Once things are finally settled down a bit, a giant turtle hops in, and starts stirring it up again. One thing thats been nice though, is finally being over a certain someone. Global Warming, has officially ended, and now the Iceberg is being transfered to different parts of the globes. Woohoo. -.-
Had a band compitition on saturday.... wouldnt really call it a compitition. More of a "Hey there Buchholz, come to this thing, get straight superiors, and get ready for Southern Showcase!"
Fun stuff.
I zoned out on the busride home. Lots of interesting thoughts went through my head. I'll leave it at that.
Not a big update, because of course, I have a reader now.... Heh, I dont see how Justin willingly updates when he KNOWS we're both going to read it. Atleast I had a purpose statement at the begining of this thing.....
Heh.
RAWR
Friday, October 17, 2008
Just a feeling...
My life has turned into a routine.
Day in, day out, all I do is run through the motions.
I dont even understand it. Why go through our one life.... ONE life, if some days just mean nothing? Sure, there's always tomorrow.... but whats the point if your going to have the same attitude as today?
After maybe an hour of talking, I have lost my train of thought due to a great friend of mine named Justin.
Dude. Justin. Your awesome. Although, quite confusing at time. No Margie. I refuse to betray him anymore.
RAWR
LIVE EACH DAY LIKE ITS YOUR LAST... and GET THIS DARN PLANK OUT OF MY EYE.
Day in, day out, all I do is run through the motions.
I dont even understand it. Why go through our one life.... ONE life, if some days just mean nothing? Sure, there's always tomorrow.... but whats the point if your going to have the same attitude as today?
After maybe an hour of talking, I have lost my train of thought due to a great friend of mine named Justin.
Dude. Justin. Your awesome. Although, quite confusing at time. No Margie. I refuse to betray him anymore.
RAWR
LIVE EACH DAY LIKE ITS YOUR LAST... and GET THIS DARN PLANK OUT OF MY EYE.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sucuide?
If I were to ponder past events, I might say, that an old friend seems to be popping into my head a bit more lately.... but of course, as history has taught us already, it wouldnt happen....... But what if?
What if somehow, I eventually managed to wedge my way into somebodys life? Could it work? Would I be looked down upon? Who knows. Would it work amazingly? Questions to ponder.
Honestly, I think it might work. If she might give me a chance, then just maybe. Of course, she wont, and I'll be left forever to wonder.
On a happier note, we had 2 band sectionals today. Saxophone Sectional, and Wind Symphony sectional. Got some decent experience with Saxophone sectional, and leading somemore. Wind Symphony music is actually rather challenging... but I can handle it. It gives me a class to almost look foward to! lol
Nothing really fun happened today. Got some chocolate for my birthday, from my dearest friend Amy Fox. Good stuff.
I'll be around. Maybe post more regularly. Only time will tell.....
What if somehow, I eventually managed to wedge my way into somebodys life? Could it work? Would I be looked down upon? Who knows. Would it work amazingly? Questions to ponder.
Honestly, I think it might work. If she might give me a chance, then just maybe. Of course, she wont, and I'll be left forever to wonder.
On a happier note, we had 2 band sectionals today. Saxophone Sectional, and Wind Symphony sectional. Got some decent experience with Saxophone sectional, and leading somemore. Wind Symphony music is actually rather challenging... but I can handle it. It gives me a class to almost look foward to! lol
Nothing really fun happened today. Got some chocolate for my birthday, from my dearest friend Amy Fox. Good stuff.
I'll be around. Maybe post more regularly. Only time will tell.....
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Happier Birthday
So! Today went pretty well. I started up by waking up at about 9:15, after maybe 6-7 hours of sleep. Big band compitition last night. We won, BTW. Beat GHS by a good amount. =]
Birthday party was fun. I'd totally elaborate about all this more, but like, I DID have it typed out, and then blogger messed it up, and I just dont have the will to do it anymore.
Although. Update
I got 2 hugs from Margie today, and for about the first time I can remember, they didnt really cause any trouble up in my head. Amazing stuff. Maybe I can actually get this whole "Like you as a friend only" type thing down. We shall see.
Quick/Lazy update. I'll be around.
Byee!
Birthday party was fun. I'd totally elaborate about all this more, but like, I DID have it typed out, and then blogger messed it up, and I just dont have the will to do it anymore.
Although. Update
I got 2 hugs from Margie today, and for about the first time I can remember, they didnt really cause any trouble up in my head. Amazing stuff. Maybe I can actually get this whole "Like you as a friend only" type thing down. We shall see.
Quick/Lazy update. I'll be around.
Byee!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Happy Birthday
As of this morning, I officially passed the 16th year mark, of my life on this planet.
Day started with presents, shower, school, dinner, game. Within those catagorys, lots happened. As to what? Most of it doesnt matter. Everyday life. Others... still not important.
Honestly, these past 3 weeks, have problably been the most taxing of my entire life. Between trying to sort through emotions in my head, and attempting to quell best friends. Its been a freaking pain.
So, if you could've guessed, today wasnt necessarily my best day ever. Yet... Time stops for no man. The day is over, and I'm 16.
Justin gave me a link to his blog, and thats quite interesting. Gave me a little bit of insight. His views, are actually quite close to mine. Funny how we share a bunch of the same opinions and views on life.
Argh. Sometimes though, its annoying how paranoid and.... I suppose, Ignorant he is right now.
Your first girlfriend, is something thats crazy. Your life gets flipped upside down, and your introduced to millions upon millions of new things. Add that along to the already insanely crazy life of highschool, and you get a crazy asian kid. Love is something that, in my opinion, is not to be used unless you know for darn well sure you "love" them. Its not something that happens in a few months. Of course, there's always rules to the exception, but as society would have us see it today, Love is something you can find lying on the street, and take it for a spin. If "love" doesnt work out, Divorce it. Its not like its something socially valuable anyways these days.
That is the one thing that makes me... annoyed. When people throw around the word love, and expect it to settle with me. You've seen my quote on love. Love is perfect. There are NO flaws in love. How can you Love someone, and not trust them at the same time? I honestly, cannot understand. Love is something that you cannot describe. I have yet to feel any type of love toward someone aside from "brothers" and parents. First girlfriend, I said it. I said "I love you" to her, because just, I thought I did. Every single day I was away from her, I felt a longing. Obviously, I was young, and stupid. Had NO idea what I was talking about.
In the past, I questioned my liking for Margie as Love at one point. I pondered it, for quite some time. I even think I pondered about Marriage, heck, why not? Nothing bad comes from thinking right? Anyway, I pondered it for awhile. Came to the conclusion that I didnt, purely because I knew, that Love is something I dont have the patience for. If I were to say that I "Loved" Margie, I'd only be lying to myself. How can I love somebody, if I cant respect their own decisions? What type of a hypocrit would I be, if I said I loved somebody, yet I couldnt follow through with my own freaking opinion?
Words cannot describe love, and generations have failed trying to explain it. Why even attempt to limit the description of love with words? Its not worth it. It never will be. Love is something given by God, and God cannot be explained. Love is our most valuable gift in this world, so why try to hinder it? Justin certainly does have some strong feelings for this girl, but at a first relationship, that only intensifies things. I honestly can say, that I felt just as strongly as he does, but she chose him. I have to somehow attempt to respect that, and move on with life. Freaking. Argh.
Respecting somebodys decision, in reality, is problably one of the hardest things you could ever try to do. The simple word "No" is something we hear quite often in our society today, but its never taken seriously. If your told no, then all you try to do is get around it. You figure, "He obviously wasnt in his right mind. He could'nt have meant no!! Lets try another way." Why not just respect the decision? Nobody likes being rejected, or being told they cant do something. It makes us feel inferior. Yet, it also puts us in our place. Sometimes, we have to learn that everybody is equal, and their No means just as much as ours does. Respect that. Live with it. Get on with life.
Simply put, tonight is my rant night. Today wasnt the best, and I dont drive on my own for two months.
*sings*
Happy Birthday.... to....me.....
Day started with presents, shower, school, dinner, game. Within those catagorys, lots happened. As to what? Most of it doesnt matter. Everyday life. Others... still not important.
Honestly, these past 3 weeks, have problably been the most taxing of my entire life. Between trying to sort through emotions in my head, and attempting to quell best friends. Its been a freaking pain.
So, if you could've guessed, today wasnt necessarily my best day ever. Yet... Time stops for no man. The day is over, and I'm 16.
Justin gave me a link to his blog, and thats quite interesting. Gave me a little bit of insight. His views, are actually quite close to mine. Funny how we share a bunch of the same opinions and views on life.
Argh. Sometimes though, its annoying how paranoid and.... I suppose, Ignorant he is right now.
Your first girlfriend, is something thats crazy. Your life gets flipped upside down, and your introduced to millions upon millions of new things. Add that along to the already insanely crazy life of highschool, and you get a crazy asian kid. Love is something that, in my opinion, is not to be used unless you know for darn well sure you "love" them. Its not something that happens in a few months. Of course, there's always rules to the exception, but as society would have us see it today, Love is something you can find lying on the street, and take it for a spin. If "love" doesnt work out, Divorce it. Its not like its something socially valuable anyways these days.
That is the one thing that makes me... annoyed. When people throw around the word love, and expect it to settle with me. You've seen my quote on love. Love is perfect. There are NO flaws in love. How can you Love someone, and not trust them at the same time? I honestly, cannot understand. Love is something that you cannot describe. I have yet to feel any type of love toward someone aside from "brothers" and parents. First girlfriend, I said it. I said "I love you" to her, because just, I thought I did. Every single day I was away from her, I felt a longing. Obviously, I was young, and stupid. Had NO idea what I was talking about.
In the past, I questioned my liking for Margie as Love at one point. I pondered it, for quite some time. I even think I pondered about Marriage, heck, why not? Nothing bad comes from thinking right? Anyway, I pondered it for awhile. Came to the conclusion that I didnt, purely because I knew, that Love is something I dont have the patience for. If I were to say that I "Loved" Margie, I'd only be lying to myself. How can I love somebody, if I cant respect their own decisions? What type of a hypocrit would I be, if I said I loved somebody, yet I couldnt follow through with my own freaking opinion?
Words cannot describe love, and generations have failed trying to explain it. Why even attempt to limit the description of love with words? Its not worth it. It never will be. Love is something given by God, and God cannot be explained. Love is our most valuable gift in this world, so why try to hinder it? Justin certainly does have some strong feelings for this girl, but at a first relationship, that only intensifies things. I honestly can say, that I felt just as strongly as he does, but she chose him. I have to somehow attempt to respect that, and move on with life. Freaking. Argh.
Respecting somebodys decision, in reality, is problably one of the hardest things you could ever try to do. The simple word "No" is something we hear quite often in our society today, but its never taken seriously. If your told no, then all you try to do is get around it. You figure, "He obviously wasnt in his right mind. He could'nt have meant no!! Lets try another way." Why not just respect the decision? Nobody likes being rejected, or being told they cant do something. It makes us feel inferior. Yet, it also puts us in our place. Sometimes, we have to learn that everybody is equal, and their No means just as much as ours does. Respect that. Live with it. Get on with life.
Simply put, tonight is my rant night. Today wasnt the best, and I dont drive on my own for two months.
*sings*
Happy Birthday.... to....me.....
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Baby Steps..
So, I think today was a pretty significant day. I believe, I finally have it in my head, that Margie and I wont ever work out. Quite possibly the saddest realiziation that I've ever come to, but thats life.
Even if her and Justin DID break up, just.... it wouldnt be right. I dont think I could ever really go behind his back, so to speak, and attempt something with a girl that he "loves". I might ask her to prom this year, if they happen to break up before then, but if not. Looks like I'll never know what could've been.
That rather makes me sad.... very...very sad. I mean, just, argh. I dont even know. Honestly, words cannot describe the sorrow I feel about this whole situation. Its gotten to me for about what, three weeks now? Hopefully something will happen, and just... I dont know. Simply put, I have to get over her. It'll never work.
I turn 16 tomorrow. I should be extremely excited and whatnot... but I'm really not. This whole situation has gotten me extremely apathetic, so I just.... dont care. Woohoo, I'm 16. I drive on christmas eve. Thats rather far away.
Woot for officially private blogs, and the begining... of the end, of Margie.
Even if her and Justin DID break up, just.... it wouldnt be right. I dont think I could ever really go behind his back, so to speak, and attempt something with a girl that he "loves". I might ask her to prom this year, if they happen to break up before then, but if not. Looks like I'll never know what could've been.
That rather makes me sad.... very...very sad. I mean, just, argh. I dont even know. Honestly, words cannot describe the sorrow I feel about this whole situation. Its gotten to me for about what, three weeks now? Hopefully something will happen, and just... I dont know. Simply put, I have to get over her. It'll never work.
I turn 16 tomorrow. I should be extremely excited and whatnot... but I'm really not. This whole situation has gotten me extremely apathetic, so I just.... dont care. Woohoo, I'm 16. I drive on christmas eve. Thats rather far away.
Woot for officially private blogs, and the begining... of the end, of Margie.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
So here it is.
'Tis wenesday, and like I said, today is the day I change a few things.... but not before I get a few things off my chest.
Of course, this is mainly directed to you Margie, and possibly Justin, if you've had the knowledge to read up, and maybe try to follow along. I'll assume you havent though. So, I'll make it good. =P
First thing I'm dying to get off....... *ponders*. Hmm, well, I suppose if I thought about it enough, I'd still have to say that I like Margie (You). Tough thing for me to openly say, and give away every little bit of leverage that I do have, but oh well. So yeah, that right there rather... is tough for me. Seeing you prefer my best friend, Justin, over me everyday. Always being around him, instead of say me. Although, there's nothing to do except live with it.
Living with something, is a saying that I've heard thrown around before... or maybe I've thrown it around. If I did, I certainly didnt have any right to. I've never had to live "through" something before untill about this whole situation. To live through it, means your consistantly having to work. Its amazing how freaking hard it is, to sit there, and watch things happen... and have absolutely no controll over any of it. Yeah.... try it someday. Find something a movie that you absolutely hate, and watch it. Maybe... two or three times. With a 15-20 minute break in there. Then you might get an idea of what it feels like to truely be miserable.
You come to realize, those 15-20 minute breaks are some of the most enjoyable times of your life. You start counting down the minutes till the movies over, just for those 15 minutes. Sometimes even less! Its rediculus.... For example, in my life, I get to sit and wait as to when maybe.. just maybe Margie might chose me before she chooses something over something. Sounds really lame, yeah, it problably is, but in my state of mind, it actually gives me that 15 minute stretch break. Its more amazing than you might ever realize.
Random: Margie. As I've said before... you confuse me.
Back on topic.... Lets go into the topic of... hypocritism?? If somebody says "I hate mexican food" and then the next day, you see them sitting in Taco bell eating a big burrito, does that make them a hypocrit? In my mind, it does. If you continually say, "I dont hate you", but yet, never talk them. What could be said about you? Does it just slip your mind? I dont know. It just makes life a bunch harder over here. If you do plan on telling me something... this goes for anyone or anything, please, do me the favor and tell me the truth. I'm not stupid, and I'll understand it, but then again, dont beat me with it. I'll understand with a simple statement. No more shooting people down. ;)
What next.... Meh, not really much more to say. I just need to get over that girl though. Obviously nothings going to happen between us for atleast two months. Let alone possibly even go out in the future. I'm looking at atleast three months.... Goodness. Do I really want to keep going through this for three or more months??? Heck, I'll do my best to stop.... But some things you just cant controll. It'll go away, I'm sure.... but as to when, your guess is just as good as mine.
Justin... If you do ever end up reading this, lets see, I dont really need to defend myself. Margie likes you, a lot. Simply put. Your extremely lucky in all that aspects, and you should just enjoy it.
Hmm. Struggles. Definitely gonna make one of those happen some time. =P
Not much more to say. Hopefully you might enjoy this a bit. lol, ttyl.
P.S, I still want more specifics to if you care or not.
=]
Thanks for reading!! And as of now.... its quiet.
Of course, this is mainly directed to you Margie, and possibly Justin, if you've had the knowledge to read up, and maybe try to follow along. I'll assume you havent though. So, I'll make it good. =P
First thing I'm dying to get off....... *ponders*. Hmm, well, I suppose if I thought about it enough, I'd still have to say that I like Margie (You). Tough thing for me to openly say, and give away every little bit of leverage that I do have, but oh well. So yeah, that right there rather... is tough for me. Seeing you prefer my best friend, Justin, over me everyday. Always being around him, instead of say me. Although, there's nothing to do except live with it.
Living with something, is a saying that I've heard thrown around before... or maybe I've thrown it around. If I did, I certainly didnt have any right to. I've never had to live "through" something before untill about this whole situation. To live through it, means your consistantly having to work. Its amazing how freaking hard it is, to sit there, and watch things happen... and have absolutely no controll over any of it. Yeah.... try it someday. Find something a movie that you absolutely hate, and watch it. Maybe... two or three times. With a 15-20 minute break in there. Then you might get an idea of what it feels like to truely be miserable.
You come to realize, those 15-20 minute breaks are some of the most enjoyable times of your life. You start counting down the minutes till the movies over, just for those 15 minutes. Sometimes even less! Its rediculus.... For example, in my life, I get to sit and wait as to when maybe.. just maybe Margie might chose me before she chooses something over something. Sounds really lame, yeah, it problably is, but in my state of mind, it actually gives me that 15 minute stretch break. Its more amazing than you might ever realize.
Random: Margie. As I've said before... you confuse me.
Back on topic.... Lets go into the topic of... hypocritism?? If somebody says "I hate mexican food" and then the next day, you see them sitting in Taco bell eating a big burrito, does that make them a hypocrit? In my mind, it does. If you continually say, "I dont hate you", but yet, never talk them. What could be said about you? Does it just slip your mind? I dont know. It just makes life a bunch harder over here. If you do plan on telling me something... this goes for anyone or anything, please, do me the favor and tell me the truth. I'm not stupid, and I'll understand it, but then again, dont beat me with it. I'll understand with a simple statement. No more shooting people down. ;)
What next.... Meh, not really much more to say. I just need to get over that girl though. Obviously nothings going to happen between us for atleast two months. Let alone possibly even go out in the future. I'm looking at atleast three months.... Goodness. Do I really want to keep going through this for three or more months??? Heck, I'll do my best to stop.... But some things you just cant controll. It'll go away, I'm sure.... but as to when, your guess is just as good as mine.
Justin... If you do ever end up reading this, lets see, I dont really need to defend myself. Margie likes you, a lot. Simply put. Your extremely lucky in all that aspects, and you should just enjoy it.
Hmm. Struggles. Definitely gonna make one of those happen some time. =P
Not much more to say. Hopefully you might enjoy this a bit. lol, ttyl.
P.S, I still want more specifics to if you care or not.
=]
Thanks for reading!! And as of now.... its quiet.
Monday, October 6, 2008
I Just Dont Know
Sometimes I really cant even describe how... amazed I am with some things. I mean, just.......
I really. Dont know. Words cant really describe the feelings right now, so simply put.
Rawr.
Not the good rawr. But the Rawr, Im really at a loss for words... Rawr.
So yeah. Wow.
*sigh*
I really. Dont know. Words cant really describe the feelings right now, so simply put.
Rawr.
Not the good rawr. But the Rawr, Im really at a loss for words... Rawr.
So yeah. Wow.
*sigh*
The Countdown Begins
As of today, there is 3/4 (3 if you consider today being over...) days left untill my 16th birthday. Pretty crazy if you ask me.... 16 years of my life has already gone by, and theres absolutely nothing I can do to take them back.... Could almost make a person ponder, with some of the things that could've, or should've happened..... but then you could also celebrate. A whole new realm of oppertuniy has opened. Driving.
Yep, being 16 wont be any different than being 15, just with more responsability. Woohoo. I'll be able to drive by myself Christmas Eve. Ashame I waited so long to get my license. I knew I'd regret it about a year ago.... and, well, what can I say? I regret it.
Also, there's only 2 days left of this blog being open. Hurrah for thoughts fixing to come out. I'm quite..... excited, yet dissapointed. Having somebody read these thoughts is almost nice. Yet, then again, if I said anything worth reading, my whole life would just fall apart. Well, maybe not entirely. haha, good times.
Anyway. Its monday..... and we have after school band tomorrow. That should prove to be fun... untill then... Happy Monday, and I'll be around.
Thanks?
*Hits the ground with a loud thump*
Yep, being 16 wont be any different than being 15, just with more responsability. Woohoo. I'll be able to drive by myself Christmas Eve. Ashame I waited so long to get my license. I knew I'd regret it about a year ago.... and, well, what can I say? I regret it.
Also, there's only 2 days left of this blog being open. Hurrah for thoughts fixing to come out. I'm quite..... excited, yet dissapointed. Having somebody read these thoughts is almost nice. Yet, then again, if I said anything worth reading, my whole life would just fall apart. Well, maybe not entirely. haha, good times.
Anyway. Its monday..... and we have after school band tomorrow. That should prove to be fun... untill then... Happy Monday, and I'll be around.
Thanks?
*Hits the ground with a loud thump*
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Fun fun
I find it truly amazing of how one hug... just a brief embrace for maybe 2-3 seconds, can completely change your mood, your concious, and just make your life so.... Bittersweet all at once.
Meh, thats right. One hug, does all that. Let alone, that only took place of what, 3 seconds? Argh, darn girls..... xD
Anyway, tonight was the night of Genevieves birthday celebrations. I made a rather sad card, and felt half bad about it. Maybe next time I'll put some real thought, plus, 18th is always the best... lol
So, I totally cant focus. Still in la-la land from that darn hug. Somebody shoot me?
=]
Meh, thats right. One hug, does all that. Let alone, that only took place of what, 3 seconds? Argh, darn girls..... xD
Anyway, tonight was the night of Genevieves birthday celebrations. I made a rather sad card, and felt half bad about it. Maybe next time I'll put some real thought, plus, 18th is always the best... lol
So, I totally cant focus. Still in la-la land from that darn hug. Somebody shoot me?
=]
Half Way
Just think, in about 4 more days, this blog will be sunk!! Nobody will ever (That I know of) will read it again.... Ahh, I cant wait!! All my privacy back!! *sigh* This is gonna be awesome.
AWESOME night last night, over at Nic's house. Jesse, Dillon, Ben, Nic, and Me were there. Omg, I havent had that much fun in quite some time. Once we watched Iron Man (Fond memories...) we all went into Nic's room and proceeded to play video games and just have a great time. About half way through, we got Margie to call, and she was passed around the room. Fun stuff.
A little later, I had agreed to talk to Savanna that night, so we had her call on a different phone. Talked to her for quite awhile. Fun stuff.
At one point, me and Jesse went outside, and we kinda split up some of the time. It was MEGA DARK out there too! Jesse scared me really badly... It was... scary!!
Yeah, so we had a great time. We really need to do that again, although, sadly, I dont think it'll happen for quite some time. These next few weeks are going to be insanely busy. Between compititions, birthdays, games, and life... its going to be intents. ;)
Here's where I take my leave. Rawr.
AWESOME night last night, over at Nic's house. Jesse, Dillon, Ben, Nic, and Me were there. Omg, I havent had that much fun in quite some time. Once we watched Iron Man (Fond memories...) we all went into Nic's room and proceeded to play video games and just have a great time. About half way through, we got Margie to call, and she was passed around the room. Fun stuff.
A little later, I had agreed to talk to Savanna that night, so we had her call on a different phone. Talked to her for quite awhile. Fun stuff.
At one point, me and Jesse went outside, and we kinda split up some of the time. It was MEGA DARK out there too! Jesse scared me really badly... It was... scary!!
Yeah, so we had a great time. We really need to do that again, although, sadly, I dont think it'll happen for quite some time. These next few weeks are going to be insanely busy. Between compititions, birthdays, games, and life... its going to be intents. ;)
Here's where I take my leave. Rawr.
Friday, October 3, 2008
*sigh*
So. This week wasnt bad, could've been better.... by far.
Although, I certainly do love how ironic my life can be sometimes. I mean... idk if Irony is the right word for it. Maybe horribly painful. Who knows.
There was a point in time today, where I literally just felt like going somewhere private, and just sitting there for like, forever. It really kinda sucked, no lie. Oh well though, life goes on, and there's certainly nothing I can do about situations like that.
Maybe I'll get another chance in the future. Who knows. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds, so why dwell completely on today? Sure, your supposed to live in the moment, I believe in the completely, but what if the moment holds absolutely nothing good for you? Thats when you dwell. It seems I've been doing that more and more often these days....
This is where a few good friends should step in and help, but of course, I dont ever act like somethings wrong. Everythings always great in my life!! Haha, if only if only.... Yeah, Jesse failed at accountability for reals. I need to reel him back into my life.
But! Good news... Haha, well, more like good people. Justins quite the friend. He usually is there all the time, and we seem to get along pretty well... rofl. Best friend I have these days. Anyway
Blah. Blah... blah blah blah!!!!! Seriously, thats how I feel about my life right now. Purely blah. I mean, there's nothing horrible just like making me want to cry, but there certainly is lack of happyness.... To the extreme. Schools so... paranormal these days. The clock just flies, and It feels like I have my life on cruise control. Actually, I take that back. My life is on cruise control right now.... Brian, my youth minister says thats the worst thing I could ever do to my life... and I suppose I can see how.
For the time being, Cruise Controll is how it needs to be. I'm too "drunk" to get behind any type of wheel right now, let alone attempt to drive on the interstate.... Heh. Poison for the lose.
Random Update right ther. Take it for what you want.
Quick quote before I go though.
“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
Might've quoted it before... but it still remains the same quote. Same value.
I'll be around.
Although, I certainly do love how ironic my life can be sometimes. I mean... idk if Irony is the right word for it. Maybe horribly painful. Who knows.
There was a point in time today, where I literally just felt like going somewhere private, and just sitting there for like, forever. It really kinda sucked, no lie. Oh well though, life goes on, and there's certainly nothing I can do about situations like that.
Maybe I'll get another chance in the future. Who knows. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds, so why dwell completely on today? Sure, your supposed to live in the moment, I believe in the completely, but what if the moment holds absolutely nothing good for you? Thats when you dwell. It seems I've been doing that more and more often these days....
This is where a few good friends should step in and help, but of course, I dont ever act like somethings wrong. Everythings always great in my life!! Haha, if only if only.... Yeah, Jesse failed at accountability for reals. I need to reel him back into my life.
But! Good news... Haha, well, more like good people. Justins quite the friend. He usually is there all the time, and we seem to get along pretty well... rofl. Best friend I have these days. Anyway
Blah. Blah... blah blah blah!!!!! Seriously, thats how I feel about my life right now. Purely blah. I mean, there's nothing horrible just like making me want to cry, but there certainly is lack of happyness.... To the extreme. Schools so... paranormal these days. The clock just flies, and It feels like I have my life on cruise control. Actually, I take that back. My life is on cruise control right now.... Brian, my youth minister says thats the worst thing I could ever do to my life... and I suppose I can see how.
For the time being, Cruise Controll is how it needs to be. I'm too "drunk" to get behind any type of wheel right now, let alone attempt to drive on the interstate.... Heh. Poison for the lose.
Random Update right ther. Take it for what you want.
Quick quote before I go though.
“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
Might've quoted it before... but it still remains the same quote. Same value.
I'll be around.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Good news!
Turns out Genevieve still thinks of me as a friend. Woohoo....!
Yeah, aparently... some stuff going on in her head. Sound familiar? Who knows. Maybe she's lying just to get out of it. Maybe. Or maybe not.... who knows
Another random thought for you.
Woot for staying on past bedtimes!!!! *runs away*
goodnight!
Yeah, aparently... some stuff going on in her head. Sound familiar? Who knows. Maybe she's lying just to get out of it. Maybe. Or maybe not.... who knows
Another random thought for you.
Woot for staying on past bedtimes!!!! *runs away*
goodnight!
Whoosh
-ring- The sound of an alarm clock waking me up.
-splash- The sound of water hitting my back.
-crunch- The sound of oh so beautiful breakfast....
-roar- The sound of a car engine starting.
.................
-roar- The sound of a plane taking off.
-clank- The sound of a parachute being strapped on.
-yell- The voice of a man telling me to jump.
-whoosh- The sound of freefalling.
-tear- The sound of a parachute falling off my back.
-thud- The sound of a body hitting the earth.
...............
Solve
Me.
-splash- The sound of water hitting my back.
-crunch- The sound of oh so beautiful breakfast....
-roar- The sound of a car engine starting.
.................
-roar- The sound of a plane taking off.
-clank- The sound of a parachute being strapped on.
-yell- The voice of a man telling me to jump.
-whoosh- The sound of freefalling.
-tear- The sound of a parachute falling off my back.
-thud- The sound of a body hitting the earth.
...............
Solve
Me.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Here we go again....
So. Once again, this blog has been Comprimised. Woo. Hoo.
I will keep this blog up for 1 week, and them I'm changing the name for good, and you wont be getting anymore hints. Seriously. I love you, but if you really want into my mind, just ask me.
So, summing up today.... I woke up at 4am with a horrible calf cramp. That impeded my walking for most of the day... which was wonderful! I then proceeded to take a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed (Definitely in that order. I eat breakfast naked. Infront of my parents....... NOT) and I went to Jazz Band.
School went, always fun there. People to see, places to walk, teachers to ignore, all good stuff. Came home, got a ride from Mark. Love that kid, anyway, came home, proceeded to talk, and then work out a little bit near 4.
The rest of the evening comprised of Dinner, moar talking, moar hint giving (Did I mention that wont happen again?), and blogging. Woohoo, like anybody who reads this really cares. Oh well, your fault, not mine.
So, yeah, as I said, this blog will be up for a few more days, so you can get this final update, and after that.... Hello name change.
Rawr.
I will keep this blog up for 1 week, and them I'm changing the name for good, and you wont be getting anymore hints. Seriously. I love you, but if you really want into my mind, just ask me.
So, summing up today.... I woke up at 4am with a horrible calf cramp. That impeded my walking for most of the day... which was wonderful! I then proceeded to take a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed (Definitely in that order. I eat breakfast naked. Infront of my parents....... NOT) and I went to Jazz Band.
School went, always fun there. People to see, places to walk, teachers to ignore, all good stuff. Came home, got a ride from Mark. Love that kid, anyway, came home, proceeded to talk, and then work out a little bit near 4.
The rest of the evening comprised of Dinner, moar talking, moar hint giving (Did I mention that wont happen again?), and blogging. Woohoo, like anybody who reads this really cares. Oh well, your fault, not mine.
So, yeah, as I said, this blog will be up for a few more days, so you can get this final update, and after that.... Hello name change.
Rawr.
After the storm....
So, that last post was pretty intents. For real... but I dont take back a single word I said. Like, for real? yeah. Good stuff
So pretty much, this is just me saying rawr.
So, wait for it....
RAWR!!!!!
So pretty much, this is just me saying rawr.
So, wait for it....
RAWR!!!!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wow
So, these past few days have been interesing. I went to homecoming, that was fun. Although, I think it would've been much more fun if the girl who had asked me, didnt use me as a last resort. Whatever. I went along for the ride, had a good times. Life goes on.
Secondly... well, not much else has happened. The whole thing with Margie went kaboom, because she couldnt keep her mouth shut. Meh. She told Justin that I had something I'd never tell him. So much for secrecy right? As of now, they are once again a completely happy couple, and life is going great for them. Awesome stuff.
Thirdly. My "date" to homecoming, Genevieve. She asked me to go to homecoming as "Friends", okay, I can understand that. Nobody else to go with, awesome. Now, maybe if she showed some of the signs of friendship towards me... I might not feel so... used? A definition of "friend" from Dictionary.com is this
"1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter"
Two of the six right there. Now, if I were to examine what is between me and Genevieve, I seriously doubt it is a friendship. She is not even closed to being in ANY WAY "Attatched" to me. First off. Secondly, I dont believe she had given me any assistance, OR support. Maybe when we first met, for what, two weeks? Dont mind me rambling, but I seriously think something is screwed. up. right there. Worst part about it is? I cant talk to her about it. She either wont care, wont change, or just ignore me completely. Sure, even if i DID try, I'd be saying "Hey, be my friend" Last time I checked, you cant force a friendship. Its usually a mutual thing.
It gets better though. Check this out, Homecoming night went okay, I was closer'ish to her most of the night, and we got along pretty well. Now, see, I dont really "like" someone unless I think there may be a chance. Keeps me from being just overall stupid. Anyway, so I pondered the thought of liking Genevieve. Figured, aww heck, why not? We get along pretty well, She's really pretty, and I think it might work out okay. So, I ask Margie if maybe she could poke around in a way to see if Genevieve might give me another chance. Aparently, Genevieve would. She didnt even have to ask... and I kinda know that as truth. Seriously, if she's not even a real friend right now, what makes me think she'd consider going out with me? idk. Maybe I was tired that night, but like, as soon as I asked this question, I get something of a response later
"You just need to get out of our grade"
Seriously? Would "Hey, I know you may like her, but I think it'd be best if you just stick with your own age group." not work? Honestly because like, i'm not a thickheaded kid. I usually catch onto things people are feeling or thinking before they care to tell me. But to come out THAT strongly, and THAT blunt, I think is just plain mean. "I'm a very blunt person, you should know that." I believe, what she's trying to say is, "I know this hurts, and I know its rather mean to say it, but I dont really care about you." If you seriously are a friend to someone, you dont treat them like trash. You treat them as a friend. Whether the situations good or not. Oh well though, our society today says its okay to be completely rude to others, and be able to get away with it. Nobody cares. Your not alloud to care.
So. There's my "crying" for you. Of course, NOBODY reads this now, because I changed the site adress. So I'm pretty much good to say whatever I feel like it from here on in. Woohoo.
Yeah.... Thats about it for tonight. Woot for venting.
Secondly... well, not much else has happened. The whole thing with Margie went kaboom, because she couldnt keep her mouth shut. Meh. She told Justin that I had something I'd never tell him. So much for secrecy right? As of now, they are once again a completely happy couple, and life is going great for them. Awesome stuff.
Thirdly. My "date" to homecoming, Genevieve. She asked me to go to homecoming as "Friends", okay, I can understand that. Nobody else to go with, awesome. Now, maybe if she showed some of the signs of friendship towards me... I might not feel so... used? A definition of "friend" from Dictionary.com is this
"1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter"
Two of the six right there. Now, if I were to examine what is between me and Genevieve, I seriously doubt it is a friendship. She is not even closed to being in ANY WAY "Attatched" to me. First off. Secondly, I dont believe she had given me any assistance, OR support. Maybe when we first met, for what, two weeks? Dont mind me rambling, but I seriously think something is screwed. up. right there. Worst part about it is? I cant talk to her about it. She either wont care, wont change, or just ignore me completely. Sure, even if i DID try, I'd be saying "Hey, be my friend" Last time I checked, you cant force a friendship. Its usually a mutual thing.
It gets better though. Check this out, Homecoming night went okay, I was closer'ish to her most of the night, and we got along pretty well. Now, see, I dont really "like" someone unless I think there may be a chance. Keeps me from being just overall stupid. Anyway, so I pondered the thought of liking Genevieve. Figured, aww heck, why not? We get along pretty well, She's really pretty, and I think it might work out okay. So, I ask Margie if maybe she could poke around in a way to see if Genevieve might give me another chance. Aparently, Genevieve would. She didnt even have to ask... and I kinda know that as truth. Seriously, if she's not even a real friend right now, what makes me think she'd consider going out with me? idk. Maybe I was tired that night, but like, as soon as I asked this question, I get something of a response later
"You just need to get out of our grade"
Seriously? Would "Hey, I know you may like her, but I think it'd be best if you just stick with your own age group." not work? Honestly because like, i'm not a thickheaded kid. I usually catch onto things people are feeling or thinking before they care to tell me. But to come out THAT strongly, and THAT blunt, I think is just plain mean. "I'm a very blunt person, you should know that." I believe, what she's trying to say is, "I know this hurts, and I know its rather mean to say it, but I dont really care about you." If you seriously are a friend to someone, you dont treat them like trash. You treat them as a friend. Whether the situations good or not. Oh well though, our society today says its okay to be completely rude to others, and be able to get away with it. Nobody cares. Your not alloud to care.
So. There's my "crying" for you. Of course, NOBODY reads this now, because I changed the site adress. So I'm pretty much good to say whatever I feel like it from here on in. Woohoo.
Yeah.... Thats about it for tonight. Woot for venting.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Well now
Considering the fact that I problably lead anyone off who WAS reading this, here goes a few bits of my mind for everyone... aka: nobody.
So, I like this girl named Margie. Yet, she's going out with my best friend. Had some history within all that, but its history. Done, over with. She went with him, and here I am. Although, lately, it almost seems as if she's regretting it slightly. I mean, she likes him, but it almost seems as if she would like to pick someone else go for.
She mentions that she is looking at the broader side of the dating horizon, which almost makes me think I might have a chance in the near future. That'd be awesome... except, well, what if she pulls another Justin? Do I seriously want to go through all of this..... again? Aparently I just didnt size up to Justin. So like... whats to keep that from happening again? Obviously she chose someone else over me in the first place, so I have some big doubts in the whole scheme of this. Dont get me wrong though. If there was some way to know that that wouldnt happen.... I'd be there in a heartbeat.
Idk, it seems like being..... 2nd best, I guess you could say, isnt quite what I had wanted it to be. Life certainly isnt perfect, and we cant have everything that we want, but just. Maybe some things are meant to work out not well?
My mind tonight, is doing some serious mulling. Its thinking, and confusing itself. I'm also mentally fatigued beyond belief so that may have something to do with it. I think I'm just being more open than I usually am.
If anyone does end up reading this, just remember. Its a blog. Its something I use to vent. Some of the things I say on here may be true, and others I could just be emotional about. Haha, thats right. Me. Martin, emotional. Amazing, I know.
This represents my thoughts, and maybe where I think blame should be. But honestly, this is some of my more selfish, and random thoughts, that I can say without really having to worry about it. If you ARE reading this, its your own decision, and you accept the responsability of what you see here. Sorry if its not sugar-coated.
So today in band was fun. 2 hours of wasted time, and 15 minutes out late. Kaminsky is a good guy, but he seriously needs to get his act together. My main complaint? No eye contact. He always tells us that being on-time, is 15 minutes late. So why cant you follow through, and actually let us out ON time? If you make such a big deal about us, why dont you step up to the plate, and actually try what your talking about? Rawr.
Quick-Random update from me, that wasnt really quick. I thought about most of this rather slowly. lol, whatever. if you read this? Kudos.
Have a cookie. See ya around.
Oh, PS, Margie, if you DO read this. Your last hint, for that second blog is " - "
GL, HF
So, I like this girl named Margie. Yet, she's going out with my best friend. Had some history within all that, but its history. Done, over with. She went with him, and here I am. Although, lately, it almost seems as if she's regretting it slightly. I mean, she likes him, but it almost seems as if she would like to pick someone else go for.
She mentions that she is looking at the broader side of the dating horizon, which almost makes me think I might have a chance in the near future. That'd be awesome... except, well, what if she pulls another Justin? Do I seriously want to go through all of this..... again? Aparently I just didnt size up to Justin. So like... whats to keep that from happening again? Obviously she chose someone else over me in the first place, so I have some big doubts in the whole scheme of this. Dont get me wrong though. If there was some way to know that that wouldnt happen.... I'd be there in a heartbeat.
Idk, it seems like being..... 2nd best, I guess you could say, isnt quite what I had wanted it to be. Life certainly isnt perfect, and we cant have everything that we want, but just. Maybe some things are meant to work out not well?
My mind tonight, is doing some serious mulling. Its thinking, and confusing itself. I'm also mentally fatigued beyond belief so that may have something to do with it. I think I'm just being more open than I usually am.
If anyone does end up reading this, just remember. Its a blog. Its something I use to vent. Some of the things I say on here may be true, and others I could just be emotional about. Haha, thats right. Me. Martin, emotional. Amazing, I know.
This represents my thoughts, and maybe where I think blame should be. But honestly, this is some of my more selfish, and random thoughts, that I can say without really having to worry about it. If you ARE reading this, its your own decision, and you accept the responsability of what you see here. Sorry if its not sugar-coated.
So today in band was fun. 2 hours of wasted time, and 15 minutes out late. Kaminsky is a good guy, but he seriously needs to get his act together. My main complaint? No eye contact. He always tells us that being on-time, is 15 minutes late. So why cant you follow through, and actually let us out ON time? If you make such a big deal about us, why dont you step up to the plate, and actually try what your talking about? Rawr.
Quick-Random update from me, that wasnt really quick. I thought about most of this rather slowly. lol, whatever. if you read this? Kudos.
Have a cookie. See ya around.
Oh, PS, Margie, if you DO read this. Your last hint, for that second blog is " - "
GL, HF
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Argh
Argh argh argh arGH!!!!!!!
Seriously, Margie made a dent in me that wont be repaired for a long, long time. Bit of background, as to why.
We have the most in common, as of anyone else I know. Seriously? Our personalities mesh so well its not even funny. If Me and Emily had even HALF of the chemistry that Margie and I do, I would be happy.
That alone is enough to make me go crazy for atleast a few months... which it has. Then came the day when she decided that she didnt like me anymore. That was a harsh one. She chose Justin, one of my best friends to this day. And somehow, she expects me to live with it. If your reading this, that sounds horrible, but nobody does read it, so I can tell it in its pure view to me.
So, Justin asked her out, second day of school, and of course, she says yes. That about killed me. I drew some random freaking picture trying to vent emotions, and it hasnt helped. For awhile now, I suppose I've been doing pretty good about my feelings for her, but as time goes on, I keep seeing her, because she's my best friends girlfriend. What. The. Hell. Seriously? I dont like, EXTREMELY like her right now, but given the chance, and the right time, I could see it working. Quite well.
Worst of it all, She's been bringing up the past to me. Considering we're friends, its all good to talk about it now. I mean, I had done really well! No real feelings coming back to haunt me, but then she braught up Iron Man. That was the first real movie that I knew she liked me, and I was testing the waters of her personality. Seriously? That was one of the most fun, and enjoyable movies of my life. She braught it up, and it just unthawed about 2-3 months worth of freezing. Emotionally.
This is only my way of getting things out, and attempting to vent. My dog Gingers next to me, and I suppose I should give her some attention. So here goes.
Argh.
Seriously, Margie made a dent in me that wont be repaired for a long, long time. Bit of background, as to why.
We have the most in common, as of anyone else I know. Seriously? Our personalities mesh so well its not even funny. If Me and Emily had even HALF of the chemistry that Margie and I do, I would be happy.
That alone is enough to make me go crazy for atleast a few months... which it has. Then came the day when she decided that she didnt like me anymore. That was a harsh one. She chose Justin, one of my best friends to this day. And somehow, she expects me to live with it. If your reading this, that sounds horrible, but nobody does read it, so I can tell it in its pure view to me.
So, Justin asked her out, second day of school, and of course, she says yes. That about killed me. I drew some random freaking picture trying to vent emotions, and it hasnt helped. For awhile now, I suppose I've been doing pretty good about my feelings for her, but as time goes on, I keep seeing her, because she's my best friends girlfriend. What. The. Hell. Seriously? I dont like, EXTREMELY like her right now, but given the chance, and the right time, I could see it working. Quite well.
Worst of it all, She's been bringing up the past to me. Considering we're friends, its all good to talk about it now. I mean, I had done really well! No real feelings coming back to haunt me, but then she braught up Iron Man. That was the first real movie that I knew she liked me, and I was testing the waters of her personality. Seriously? That was one of the most fun, and enjoyable movies of my life. She braught it up, and it just unthawed about 2-3 months worth of freezing. Emotionally.
This is only my way of getting things out, and attempting to vent. My dog Gingers next to me, and I suppose I should give her some attention. So here goes.
Argh.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Finer Joys of Life
So, I broke up with my girlfriend today. Thank. God.
Honestly? I should've listened to my GUT FEELING on that one. It hasnt lead me wrong when it comes to girls. WTF is my problem. Srsly? I dont know.
Emily; Hot girl. Dark skin, Brown eyes. Long legs, toned muscles. Sounds like a dream right? Especially for a kid like me. Goodness. But under that finely toned, tanned skin... She has a personallity that I hope Iwont ever encounter again.
She gets annoyed... QUITE easily. I couldnt be ME around her!! She'd be like, MARTIN STOP THAT!! Or just, DONT DO THAT AGAIN. RAWR RAWR RAWR. I might be overexaggerating just a BIT but you know. Nobody I knows going to read this, so its okay.
Yeah. Our personalities plain out just, Did not match. We're two COMPLETELY different people. Like, for real.... So yeah. There's that.
Although, I will miss those kisses. She was a damn good kisser.... Oh well. My fault. Life goes on.
=]
Our first HS football game was tonight. As in, BAND oriented game. We did pre-game. Cool stuff...
Our first show wasnt horrible. Could've been better... and I'm sure it will later on. I didnt make too many mistakes, but darn, you certainly do lose your breath on this one.....
Random update. There it is. Had to get that Emily thing out of my system. WOOT. LIFE IS GOOD! IM SINGLE!!!
Honestly? I should've listened to my GUT FEELING on that one. It hasnt lead me wrong when it comes to girls. WTF is my problem. Srsly? I dont know.
Emily; Hot girl. Dark skin, Brown eyes. Long legs, toned muscles. Sounds like a dream right? Especially for a kid like me. Goodness. But under that finely toned, tanned skin... She has a personallity that I hope Iwont ever encounter again.
She gets annoyed... QUITE easily. I couldnt be ME around her!! She'd be like, MARTIN STOP THAT!! Or just, DONT DO THAT AGAIN. RAWR RAWR RAWR. I might be overexaggerating just a BIT but you know. Nobody I knows going to read this, so its okay.
Yeah. Our personalities plain out just, Did not match. We're two COMPLETELY different people. Like, for real.... So yeah. There's that.
Although, I will miss those kisses. She was a damn good kisser.... Oh well. My fault. Life goes on.
=]
Our first HS football game was tonight. As in, BAND oriented game. We did pre-game. Cool stuff...
Our first show wasnt horrible. Could've been better... and I'm sure it will later on. I didnt make too many mistakes, but darn, you certainly do lose your breath on this one.....
Random update. There it is. Had to get that Emily thing out of my system. WOOT. LIFE IS GOOD! IM SINGLE!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
ZOMG...#2?!
So, pretty much, life is GREAT right now. I have an awesome girlfriend named Emily. Which I TOTALLY ate my words, 2 posts down. Band is awesome, somehow I got really like... good-moody during it, and just, it went by rather quick. I've about leveled out all those girl-relationships that have been rocky, and Justin's finally going out with Margie.
For a second, I was extremely happy to hear of them going out, but there was that pang of regret. It lasted for maybe like, 40minutes to 1hour. But, then i called Emily, and things went great. She really is an awesome girl...
So yeah. Simple and short update. I might talk about teachers and school later. Maybe. It'd take awhile...
Oh, and for future's sake. I HATE THOLEN. Simply put. There. okay.
Bye
For a second, I was extremely happy to hear of them going out, but there was that pang of regret. It lasted for maybe like, 40minutes to 1hour. But, then i called Emily, and things went great. She really is an awesome girl...
So yeah. Simple and short update. I might talk about teachers and school later. Maybe. It'd take awhile...
Oh, and for future's sake. I HATE THOLEN. Simply put. There. okay.
Bye
Saturday, August 16, 2008
ZOMG
WOW... Massive update.
Band Camp is over, I have an awesome girlfriend, and schools fixing to start.
This year... is something I'm going to just have to jump into. I cant just dip my feet into, and hope to survivie. My schedule includes 4 honors classes, Band, and Spanish. I'm taking 2 band courses this year, with Jazz band in the mornings, and Wind Symphony as an actual class. Already, school one day away, I've been lazy. I was supposed to read 2 books this summer... dropped the ball on that one. To Kill a Mockingbird I finished today, it was actually better than I remember back in 8th grade, and the Count of Montecristo is something that I'm going to have to sparknote sometime later.
My girlfriends name is Emily, and I certainly hope things go very well. We'll see how it goes over the next weeks.
Short update. Just for the sake of me.
GL and HF
GG.
Band Camp is over, I have an awesome girlfriend, and schools fixing to start.
This year... is something I'm going to just have to jump into. I cant just dip my feet into, and hope to survivie. My schedule includes 4 honors classes, Band, and Spanish. I'm taking 2 band courses this year, with Jazz band in the mornings, and Wind Symphony as an actual class. Already, school one day away, I've been lazy. I was supposed to read 2 books this summer... dropped the ball on that one. To Kill a Mockingbird I finished today, it was actually better than I remember back in 8th grade, and the Count of Montecristo is something that I'm going to have to sparknote sometime later.
My girlfriends name is Emily, and I certainly hope things go very well. We'll see how it goes over the next weeks.
Short update. Just for the sake of me.
GL and HF
GG.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Number Two
As I type this, I'm waiting for someone to give me something interesting to talk about. Her names Emily, and she could be a potential girlfriend in the future. lol, who knows. I dont think me and her have enough similairities to really try anything. Who knows though, I could eat my words later on. I mean, if anything, she doesnt look half bad. Whatever. We'll see. I personally dont think we "click" enough for anything.
Oh my goodness. These past 2-3 weeks have been INTENSE. Band Camp was freaking Hell... although, I actually, almost enjoyed it. Its something you dont want to do, but you make the best of it, and you learn a bunch of core value's. Of course, not being a freshman is also AWESOME. I'm not always the one being corrected, and I even got "Best Returning Member" this year! I was so happy! I love this blog, because I can state some of my true feelings without anyone knowing. Good times.
Anyway, so Margie. She really made a train wreck in my head... big time. I've never seen a girl thats been able to manipulate me so well, and then just discard me. I mean, aside from being TOTALLY heartbroken, she went with a good friend of mine, whom I introduced to her. Talk about freaking Ironic. I mean, this whole story is just laced with irony. Whatever. Anyway, so I'm STILL trying to get ovet that, because like, I wish I could totally throw out some of my emotions, because its just, it makes me REALLY mad. Yet, somehow, I still have to try and be friends. Thank God for this blog.
Band Camp was crazy. about 8-9 incoming freshman were taught how to march, how to play advanced music, and run around on a field in about 8 days. Amazing what a group of people can do when you all unite under a common delima. Next year, hopefully, Justin and I will be Co-Captains, and pure awesomeness will ensue.
Anyway. There's my vent for tonight. Maybe you'll get another in a few weeks. But of course, I'm sure nobody reads this anyways, so it works out quite well... =]
-Martin
Oh my goodness. These past 2-3 weeks have been INTENSE. Band Camp was freaking Hell... although, I actually, almost enjoyed it. Its something you dont want to do, but you make the best of it, and you learn a bunch of core value's. Of course, not being a freshman is also AWESOME. I'm not always the one being corrected, and I even got "Best Returning Member" this year! I was so happy! I love this blog, because I can state some of my true feelings without anyone knowing. Good times.
Anyway, so Margie. She really made a train wreck in my head... big time. I've never seen a girl thats been able to manipulate me so well, and then just discard me. I mean, aside from being TOTALLY heartbroken, she went with a good friend of mine, whom I introduced to her. Talk about freaking Ironic. I mean, this whole story is just laced with irony. Whatever. Anyway, so I'm STILL trying to get ovet that, because like, I wish I could totally throw out some of my emotions, because its just, it makes me REALLY mad. Yet, somehow, I still have to try and be friends. Thank God for this blog.
Band Camp was crazy. about 8-9 incoming freshman were taught how to march, how to play advanced music, and run around on a field in about 8 days. Amazing what a group of people can do when you all unite under a common delima. Next year, hopefully, Justin and I will be Co-Captains, and pure awesomeness will ensue.
Anyway. There's my vent for tonight. Maybe you'll get another in a few weeks. But of course, I'm sure nobody reads this anyways, so it works out quite well... =]
-Martin
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Well now, looks like I get a new start.
I started a blog already, yet, I totally forgot it. So here goes my second chance. Simply, this is a blog for me to vent, and hopefully nobody I know will ever find out about it. If you read this, awesome, if you dont, well, thats life.
Im a kid named Martin. I'm going into the 10th grade this year, and I still currently know nothing about Life, Girls, or Relationships. Those are not in any type of order either, switch em around, you still have a big jumbled mess.
Recently, I've gone through the most stress of my entire life, and I dont want it to happen again. Seriously, sometimes you really do have to learn things for yourself, and this has been one of the toughest lessons in my entire life. Although, im a whole 15 years old, im sure i'll encounter more of this in the near future. Anyway, here's just some ramblings on the past few months.
All stories start out with a girl or two, and this one certainly doesnt go above the norm. There was a girl. I liked girl, wanted to get to know girl. Start to get to know girl, girls best friend starts liking me. Ironic? Maybe a little. Anyway, so, I start to get to know girls best friend. Get over original girl, and move to best friend. Life is good. Of course, it doesnt stay good. I introduce this girl to a good friend of mine. The first night they meet, they talk for five hours. I knew I was beating a dead horse from there on in.
Skip ahead about a month, and here we are. She's moved off of me, to my friend, and now HE'S confused. Meh. Whatever. Anyway, so here I am, finally about over that girl, and attempting to pick up what bit of relationships I have left with this group of people. Aparently, I started coming off as annoying to most of the group, so I have to deminish that aspect of me, and somehow get them to not think so lowly of me anymore. Life goes on.
This blog will be used as a source for venting. If you dont like it, I dont even know why your still reading this. I'm being selfish, this is purely for me. So, yeah. Woohoo. I'll be giving occasional updates. But not for the next 2 weeks. Band camp is staring me straight in the face. Hello 10 hour days starting on tuesday.
Who knows, I might come home everyday and tell you about how it went. Haha, I can dream, cant I?
Thanks for reading, if you did. If you really did read this, I'll give you a cookie.
Bye
I started a blog already, yet, I totally forgot it. So here goes my second chance. Simply, this is a blog for me to vent, and hopefully nobody I know will ever find out about it. If you read this, awesome, if you dont, well, thats life.
Im a kid named Martin. I'm going into the 10th grade this year, and I still currently know nothing about Life, Girls, or Relationships. Those are not in any type of order either, switch em around, you still have a big jumbled mess.
Recently, I've gone through the most stress of my entire life, and I dont want it to happen again. Seriously, sometimes you really do have to learn things for yourself, and this has been one of the toughest lessons in my entire life. Although, im a whole 15 years old, im sure i'll encounter more of this in the near future. Anyway, here's just some ramblings on the past few months.
All stories start out with a girl or two, and this one certainly doesnt go above the norm. There was a girl. I liked girl, wanted to get to know girl. Start to get to know girl, girls best friend starts liking me. Ironic? Maybe a little. Anyway, so, I start to get to know girls best friend. Get over original girl, and move to best friend. Life is good. Of course, it doesnt stay good. I introduce this girl to a good friend of mine. The first night they meet, they talk for five hours. I knew I was beating a dead horse from there on in.
Skip ahead about a month, and here we are. She's moved off of me, to my friend, and now HE'S confused. Meh. Whatever. Anyway, so here I am, finally about over that girl, and attempting to pick up what bit of relationships I have left with this group of people. Aparently, I started coming off as annoying to most of the group, so I have to deminish that aspect of me, and somehow get them to not think so lowly of me anymore. Life goes on.
This blog will be used as a source for venting. If you dont like it, I dont even know why your still reading this. I'm being selfish, this is purely for me. So, yeah. Woohoo. I'll be giving occasional updates. But not for the next 2 weeks. Band camp is staring me straight in the face. Hello 10 hour days starting on tuesday.
Who knows, I might come home everyday and tell you about how it went. Haha, I can dream, cant I?
Thanks for reading, if you did. If you really did read this, I'll give you a cookie.
Bye
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